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Self Assessment Skills

BY: T. Franklin Murphy | April 2016 (updated 6-1-2021)

A woman sitting peacefully in reflection. A Flourishing Life Society article on self assessment

Self assessments reveals a path of self improvement. With knowledge of strengths and weaknesses, we can kindly begin the work of change

Self assessments should be a simple, right? After all, we’re with ourselves all the time. “Who would know us better?” But judging the self is complex. Subjectivity interferes with fair evaluations of feelings, motivations, strengths and weaknesses. We can't blindly march into careers, relationships, or life. We must have an inkling of who we are, and what we can accomplish. Successfully navigating obstacles and determining appropriate action demands a sound sense of self. We find this through regular self assessments.

Change requires identifying behaviors that limit futures and halt progression. Simple self-evaluations of good or bad often fail; tainted judgments fail to identify realistic problems for us to work on. The crude labeling creates emotional haywire, disrupting the self and discouraging efforts to change. We drown in the bitter thought of “I’m not good enough.” The harsh self-judgment invites self-hatred, protective defenses, and depression.

Key Definition:

Self-assessments is an effective practice to become more self-conscious. It makes conscious your current self-view by measuring your values, skills, emotions and motivations.

Complexity and Self Assessments

Complexity! No wonder we default to automation. Act now; justify later. The internal drives mindlessly motivate action without interference of logical thought. Our emotions go unexamined. When emotionally aroused, we look outward for the cause, critically blaming others; they must have done something wrong or we would be happy.

We can't trust emotions. Our emotions occasionally go off course—programmed from the past. The past, as informative as it is, doesn’t always provide accurate patterns for the present. Emotions gained from traumatic experience may be wrong for the present, generating fear instead of curiosity, rejection instead of bonding.

"Self-knowledge affects how we think, feel, act, and guide."
Adrienn Herendi | Insights

Accurate Self Assessments Require Skill and Knowledge

Accurate self-assessments require skill, patience, and knowledge—both intellectual and experiential. Understanding biological foundations and learned behaviors assists in widening our perspective but without felt life experiences the theories are empty.

D.T. Suzuki wrote, “Fire; mere talking of it will not make the mouth burn.”

Experiences appear unified, but the unified perception is representation of several independent functions. An organism (such as a human being) soaks in environmental information and then reacts—hopefully in a beneficial manner. Information flows into the mind (brain) from the senses, combining new information with experienced pasts. This hodgepodge of information merging with preexisting knowledge is organized and bursts into consciousness where we often label it with a coherent meaning.

Key Flourishing Life Concept:

Unexamined our lives automatically incorporate faulty perceptions that harm self-image and confidence. Some automatic responses destroy opportunities and mislabel successes and failures.

Mental Representations

We store these representations of reality in memory to recall during future constructions. A faulty representation of the present contaminates future perceptions, further distorting reality. Impoverished and abusive childhoods evoke creative interpretations of the dangerous environments, giving order to the disorder, but interfering with healthy adaptation to adult life.

Eliminating all thought distortions is impossible. Even the wisest distort and misinterpret the external world to fit their customized internal world. It is how the brain orders experience, creating the map for continued interaction with the world. Healthy adaptations propel successful interaction with life. Unhealthy adaptations provide measured relief while extracting a heavy cost on the future.

Unfiltered reality can overwhelm the senses, disrupting security—especially for those with disrupted childhoods. Taming reality through thought is adaptive; but constantly escaping reality is dangerous. If protections stray too far from reality, we must contend with a constant flow of contradicting evidence. Reality becomes less and less palatable. Anger, sadness, and depression flow from doses of reality that expose our protective deceptions.

See Mental Maps for more on this topic

"A faulty representation of the present contaminates future perceptions, further distorting reality."

Difficult Lives Breeds Faulty Perceptions

Those struggling to survive are most susceptible to deviations. They relieve the anxiety of powerlessness through funky interpretations, adjusting and manipulating facts to regain a simple grasp of control. The loss of the protective power of fantasy proceeds a nasty crash into hopelessness. Reality can be a bear when we’ve ignored its existence. The mind artfully obscured reality to protect. But missed realities accumulate; instead of courageously making practical changes, the avoiders cower in the shadows of make believe to escape their crumbling and scary life.

Our perception molds the world into a personalized version. Understanding that our perceptions are not reality allows for a deeper examination—of our self and of others. Other’s feelings don’t resonate with the poignancy of our own experiences but with intimacy, we gain glimpses into their hearts. Their childhoods, hurts, and joys are too complex for us to fully understand. We must acceptance the limitations of knowledge and grant greater patience to others, giving them the freedom to feel life.

"Self-awareness is an aptitude that allows you to consciously act in alignment with your standards. It reflects how clearly and objectively you can define your individuality."
Adrienn Herendi | Insights

Rigid Beliefs and Self Assessments

When rigid beliefs interfere with reality, Mindfulness helps us catch our rigidity and skeptically exam for correctness. Understanding that constructions of reality are not facts allows for a gently probing of personal beliefs, finding internal reasons for dissatisfactions, without self-condemnation. When a career stagnates, a relationship struggles, or finances crumble, we can explore principle beliefs supporting unhealthy behaviors, instead of blindly pointing to outside causes and bitterly blame the world.

Structured Self-Assessment Worksheets

One way to limit subjective, unconscious reflective assessments is using a work sheet for self evaluations. University of Exeter provides this one for their students:

Self-Assessment pdf Worksheet

Adrienn Herendi provides a structured self-evaluation guide in her article on Insights. Herendi walks readers through several tasks to identify values, skills and motivations (2020).

Comprehensive Self-Assessments

Not every self-assessment needs to be all inclusive. Our lives are complex and varied. Some assessments may root out hurtful biases, other self assessments may expose buried emotions, while still others may focus on values, skills or beliefs.

Self assessments is an essential tool for emotional intelligence, personal growth, and healthy relationships.

Self Assessments Facilitate Growth

With improved accuracy, assessments provide a clearer vision of areas in need of adjustment. We can effectively see behaviors that lead away from intentions. Personal imperfections acknowledged become guiding stepping stones towards improvement.

Even the briefest glance, the momentary enlightenment, that exposes errant thought becomes a beginning to beautiful change. We slowly shed avoidances, false assumptions, rationalizations and projections. Our self-knowledge builds trust. We learn by repeated conquering of the moment that we can survive in reality. The growth sustained through accurate self-assessments limits faulty constructs for security by building skills we can confidently trust. We know ourselves; we know our capabilities, and we flourish.

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T. Franklin Murphy

Wellness. Writer. Researcher.
T. Franklin Murphy has a degree in psychology. He is dedicated to the science of wellness. In 2010, he began publishing his findings.