Flourishing Life Society
  • Home
  • Flourishing in Life
    • Addiction Recovery
    • Coronavirus 2020
    • Personal Development
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Emotion >
      • Emotional Fitness
    • Psychology Archive
  • Flourishing Relationships
  • Health and Fitness
  • About Us

Relationships Don't Self-Destruct

Doing the Little Things for the Relationship

BY: T. Franklin Murphy | June 2018
healthy relationships
Adobe Stock Images
We build or destroy our relationships one small action at a time.
Relationships don’t deteriorate without a cause, active forces pound against the bonds strengthening or destroying the connection. Usually, one negative interaction---depending on the severity—doesn’t leave us abandoned and alone. The relationship is destroyed by accumulating negative happenings—the disappointments, the aloneness, the selfishness, and the anger.  The nasty interactions slowly chip away at the positive feelings, leaving interactions laced with fear and resentment.
#relationships #love
We usually have time to reexamine our path. Questioning past actions and replacing them with something a little kinder. Slowly transforming feels of dread with each other to warm feelings of love. Action is the building blocks of success. Positive action strengthens connection. We will make mistakes that lead to conflicts. These don’t feel good but are a part of the growing process. Mistakes will not be erased with an apology or an excuse but may be forgiven in light of the constant stream of other positive interactions. Still the good moments must far outweigh the bad. We should expect that when a partner returns home for work that the feelings will be positive. We can trust in a warm accepting experience.
Overtime, many neglect the little moments—the bad mood from work is projected onto the family. Hurts, aggravations and angry retorts easily become the norm. Reuniting in the evening isn’t warmly anticipated but poisoned with anxiety, wondering whether the mood will be good or bad.
 
When negative experiences accumulate, they color the present. Even an earnest apology doesn’t replace the past. The emotional hurt remains tucked away, waiting to be recalled when future behaviors demonstrate lack of contriteness. We bury the hatchet with the handle sticking-up—just in case.

Hurts, aggravations and angry retorts easily become the norm.

You may eventually ask, "What happened to the love we once shared?" But a careful examination usually exposes a lengthy pattern of neglect, abuse, or apathy. Instead of purposely building the relationship, somewhere along the way, it became comfortable and then neglected.
 
We must avoid this slow drift to destruction by mindfully identify negative interactions—even the best relationships have them--and then establish a healthier pattern of positive, trust building behaviors. Soon the anxieties transform, moments together are filled with warmth, trusting our partner will respect and be kind. The relationship is spared from self-destruction by our active building.
Please support Flourishing Life Society with a share:
Twitter Reddit LinkedIn Email

    Monthly News Round-Up

Subscribe to Newsletter
FLS Link. The Fleeting Emotions. When emotionally flooded, it is difficult to cognitively inject thoughts to escape the moment. We need habitual practices that we automatically integrate into these moments that calm the system first, then we can cognitively join adapt, thinking of the future.
FLS Link. Emotional Patterns: The tug and movement of feeling flows through our bodies and puts in movement responses. We should recognize the process and intervene when habitual responses are unproductive.
We combat loneliness through rich connection achieved through emotional attunement.
Intimacy bridges the gap between two people, facilitating exchanges that reach deeper than words could ever express.
FLS Link. Realistic Optimism: Optimism brings energy to action, motivating persistence in the face of difficulty. Our wellness benefits most from optimism when it is based in reality.
We live blind and deaf to the primary motivating force of action. Feelings unnoticed nudge us to act. We gain a deeper appreciation for life and measured control when we develop our relationship with emotion through focusing.
Cultural patterns influence the gender roles in relationships, often contributing to the dissatisfaction and eventual dissolution of the bond. We must direct attention to these imbalances of power and create equality.
The instant attachment, finding a soul mate, sounds like a fairy tale; but often is laced with hidden problems. Take it slow.
Outside Articles:
External Link: How My Fear of the Unknown Sabotages Relationships
External Link: ‘My husband uses my past infidelity as a stick to beat me with’
External Link: Compassion: the Romantic (& Sexy) Element Missing in our Lives.
External Link: 10 Things Incredibly Likable People Never, Ever Do
Picture
Outside Articles:
External Link: Do You Fall in Love Fast, Easily, and Often?
External Link: An 8-Minute Abs Workout You Can Do in Your Living Room
External Link: 4 Ways To Fall More In Love With Your Partner Every Day
Picture
We build or destroy a relationship one small action at a time.


Subscribe to Newsletter
Home
  • Relationships​
  • Personal Growth​
  • Wellness
  • Emotions
Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Flourishing in Life
    • Addiction Recovery
    • Coronavirus 2020
    • Personal Development
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Emotion >
      • Emotional Fitness
    • Psychology Archive
  • Flourishing Relationships
  • Health and Fitness
  • About Us