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Home  |  Flourishing in Life  | Human Growth | Choices

Choices | Self-Empowered

BY: T. Franklin Murphy | August 2018
Life Choices
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Our futures are not set in stone. We can adjust the outcome, work through current consequences from the past and set our lives on a better trajectory.
We have a choice. Our futures are not determined. Tomorrow is a new day (not free from the past), but an opportunity to redirect our direction and experience a brighter future. A few better choices don’t magically erase a mischievous past—consequences will not be cheated. We must face the reckoning from misdeeds done. The past will impact the present. We gain wisdom from the trials; but only when open to the lessons taught. But futures are not set; we can intervene, changing the narrow trajectories from exacting punishments to bounteous blessings.
#wellness #health #success #flourishinglife 
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​If your current trajectory is not palatable, you should examine your current circumstances, exposing destructive adaptations, and pesky feelings pushing for harmful reactions. Once identified, we can mindfully address issues, while simultaneously working through the difficult lingering consequences. This is difficult. The potter must draw sufficient resources to maintain true while forming a more desirable life. Past neglects may require retying fraying bonds of trust at home, at work, and with institutions. A momentary determination to repair a shattered life doesn’t bring back to life relationships that we trampled. Trust often requires years, not months, to re-establish. A hurt spouse may continue to scrutinize behaviors fearing repeated betrayals long after confessions, sorrow and change.
"A momentary determination to repair a shattered life doesn’t bring back to life relationships that we trampled. Trust often requires years, not months, to re-establish."
Many relationships fail to recover; the conscientious repentance, followed with loyalty may not receive the blessing of trust, our work is then complicated acting right but not receiving the blessing. This is the pain of a lingering past. Hurtful actions sting and naturally create new barriers. The best predictor of the future is the past. To change we must draw sufficient strength to remain committed, not allowing the difficult course to erode determination. We must continue, if we want change. Bankruptcy stays on your record for seven-years; infidelity—maybe longer.
 
When we break trust, going back on our word, we don’t adapt to other’s hesitancy making new promises, marked with stronger assurances. Our words will lay hollow. But this is often the first inclination. Trying to repair broken trust with stronger promises; “this time,” we say, “will be different.” But if the heart hasn’t changed, our promises lose their power, quickly forgotten once we receive the benefit sought.

Relationships must be rebuilt with kindness, giving with out expectation of return, slowly re-establishing the character we tarnished.
 
Doing right doesn’t magically erase the past but as new behaviors accumulate, we create brighter futures. New opportunities present themselves. We can burn the new bridges too if we failed to learn from the damaging choices of the past. We must accept the past, for it is done, and love the present because it is here and patiently work towards a future of richness and joy.
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Flourishing Life Society Link. Article Delay of Gratification. Delaying gratification is not from a strong will to resist, but skilled use of techniques to weaken temptation.
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We live in a dynamic environment. When planning, we can't account for all possibilities. We must be flexible.
Life is good but complicated. Our minds spin out of control complicating life. We must slow down to discover the natural enjoyments.
We widen our vision by integrating the fate of circumstances with the empowerment of choice.
Life is difficult enough without the need of a harsh inner critic. Try being kind-- to yourself.

Wellness on the Web
External Link: Here's How to Get Stronger After 50
External Link:  The Hunger for ‘More’
External Link: 5 Strategies To Outsmarting Your Inner Critic & Silencing Negative Self-Talk
External Link: Make Peace with Your Unlived Life
We are molded by experience, but not hapless victims to uncontrollable forces. We have power to contribute to our futures.
We move through stages of behavior, thought and emotion. Each phase impacting the others. We work to change by modifying any (and sometimes all) of the stages.
We gain knowledge by wandering in uncertainty. Firm convictions of rightness blind us to the wealth of information available, narrowing our wisdom, blinding our vision.
Wellness on the Web
External Link: 7 Ways to Ease Your Anxious Mind
External Link: Your Brain Chooses What to Let You See
External Link: Using self-nudging to make better choices
Our futures are not set in stone. We can adjust the outcome, work through current consequences from the past and set our lives on a better trajectory.


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