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Home  |  Flourishing in Life  | Psychology of Wellness  | Putting on My Happy Shirt

Putting on My Happy Shirt

BY: T. Franklin Murphy  |  August 2017
Creating Happiness
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We choose happiness by the way we live not by constricting reality to only recognize happiness.
"Happiness is a choice," we hear; the accusatory finger pointed at the sad. We are told, "If you suffer, struggle or feel sad, it’s a choice." Happiness, they explain, is a simple decision, like choosing which color of shirt to wear. I disagree. Moods don’t always change by simply declaring, "Today, I am going to be happy." Our moods and our emotions have evolutionary purposes—survival implications. We can, to a certain degree, manipulate emotions through mind games, discounting biological warnings, dismissing guilt, and convincing ourselves wrong is right. Defense mechanisms, an unconscious version of this distorting process, do just that—change the perspective to soothe disruptions. Emotions guide behavior in response to experience; being happy all the time disrupts the purpose of emotion.
#happiness #positivethinking #wellness #flourishinglife 
Scientists during a 1954 experiment stumbled on an interesting finding. They implanted electrodes on the medial forebrain bundle of rats, then hooked the connection to a small pressing bar that enabled the animals to fire the electrodes. By pressing the bar, the rats stimulated a pleasure center in the brain. Stimulating pleasure took precedence over all other rat activities. The rats would press the bar to excess, foregoing food or sex. The implanted electrodes bypassed normal emotional drives, creating pleasure, but interfering with normal survival behaviors. (John C. Eccles, Evolution of the Brain: Creation of the Self, publisher: Routledge, London 1989)
Severe drug addiction creates a similar disruption. The intoxicated state relieves anxiety while interfering with better adaptations to escape, ultimately, creating more problems than the original anxiety ridden moments that induced pleasures covered. Living requires exposure to adverse happenings. We grow through the challenges, disappointments and losses. We shouldn’t hide from the world, convincing ourselves to smile, finding relief in an apathetic sleep of happiness.
 
I do agree, however, that happiness is a choice; not a choice on how to feel but determined by how we live; similar to choosing to be intelligent. We don’t become intelligent from deceitful poems declaring knowledge; we must choose activities that educate. We gain knowledge through reading, attending school, and engaging in challenging discussions. Through effort, we become educated. We can fain knowledge by limiting experience, avoiding explorations, and conversing with other shallow minds that agree with our simple premises. We may feel smart; but stupidity remains.
"Happiness is a choice, not a choice on how to feel but in how to live."
Choosing happiness, real happiness, requires more than manipulation of the emotional system. The emotions direct behaviors to escape danger and pounce on opportunities. We shouldn’t feel happy if we are doing the wrong things, violating trusts, sacrificing the future, or damaging our health. The body warns of these deviations from wisdom with guilt, shame, or sadness. We must be responsive to these feelings, not a happy zombie oblivious to reality.
 
We need to quit stimulating pleasure zones through deceptions, pushing levers that feel good but serve no purpose, convincing ourselves things are alright when they are not, dodging responsibility when we are responsible, and avoiding explorations that reveal our limitations. Instead, we should choose happiness by creating happiness, developing skills that improve our lives. Some avenues to pursue may include: optimism, compassion, integrity, following passions, enthusiasm, patience, kindness, and healthy relationships. This is not an exhaustive list. We can do much to improve our experience. Healthy behaviors, when integrated into our lives, create happiness. We must purposely work to develop a healthy environment. Slow down, quit pushing the happiness lever and start making proper choices, knowing what you want, learning how to get it, and moving towards those intentions.
 
By making healthy choices, we choose to be happy. So yes, my dear friends, "Happiness is a choice."
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FLS Link: Hope Theory: Motivation to Succeed. Hope is more than an optimistic reliance on unseen forces. Hope, according to Hope Theory, is a combination of three elements: realistic goals, energetic determination, and intelligent pursuit.
FLS internal Link. Executive Functions | Purposeful Wellness. The fabulous brain employs executive functions to process vast flows of information to direct action in service of our wellness goals.
FLS Link. The Motivational Influence of Anticipatory Joy: Episodic thought can propel us towards our dreams or fearfully tie us to our deplorable present. How and what we think matters.
FLS internal link. Courage to Become: We need to courage to reach past comfort zones and encourage personal growth.
Sustainable joy is more than present pleasure. The best lives comes from actions that produce joy over time, not just momentary amusement.
Seizing the day is a joyful acceptance and a timeless honoring of the preciousness of life. Seizing the day creates a joyful connection to living.
Living is serious business, give yourself a break. Harsh judgments hurt the soul and slow progress.
Picture Link: Article- Evidence has mounted, strongly suggesting sugar is hazardous to our health. Health organizations has recommended consumption limits to fight the world obesity epidemic that contributes to non-communicable diseases. The Sugar Industry has fought to keep this from the consumers. We must take our health into our own hands.
Experience dredges up the past, uncovering hurts and tender parts of our souls. To survive, we must find productive avenues through these moments without damaging the present and future.

External Links:
External Link: The Psychological Toll of Rude E-mails
External Link: The Mindful Morning Routine
External Link: Psychological Flexibility: We Know Less Than We Think
External Link: The Real Reason Why You're So Unhappy And Miserable With Life
External Link: For This Psychologist, the Coronavirus Offers a Unique Opportunity to Study Ourselves
FLS link. Self-Sabotage: We hurt ourselves. We sabotage healthy endeavors to escape the discomfort of change, settling back into our self-made prisons of stagnation.
We can't force emotions to comply with our demands. We must take a subtle approach.
Achieving the most from the wisdom of emotions requires purposeful effort to integrate emotions into our larger concepts of self.
We don't exist in a world of right and wrong choices. There is not a perfect map for us to follow. Most choices include drawbacks and benefits. We must carefully balance our lives, and continually monitor and make adjustments.
Marketing appeals to our emotions with magic promises of transformation. This is a fools game.
Internal FLS link. Attuning with an Improved 'Theory of Mind': The human capacity to consider underlying mental states associated with behaviors must be carefully developed to improve predictions and attune with others.
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External Wellness Links:
External Link:  My Pain was a gift
External Link:  What Makes a Good Preschool Education
External Link: Science Explains Why Grateful People Live Longer
External Link: 4 Rules for Identifying Your Life’s Work
We choose happiness by the way we live not by constricting reality to only recognize happiness.
Topics: Happiness, Joy, Human Growth
FLS internal Link. Best of FLS wellness research
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