Flourishing Life Society
  • Flourishing Life Society
    • Flourishing Favorites
    • Articles by Year Published
    • Privacy Policy
    • About Us
  • Psychology Definitions
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Psychology of Emotions >
      • Emotional Data Base
    • Psychology Article Archive
  • Personal Development
    • Health and Fitness
    • Personal Development >
      • Personal Development Archive N-Z
  • Flourishing Relationships
Home  | Human Growth | Core Skills of Living

Core Living Skills

Seven Core Skills of a Flourishing Life

 BY: T. Franklin Murphy | August 2018 (edited October 19, 2021)
Core Living Skills
Adobe Stock Images
Foundational skills prepares us to meet and manage the constant flow of unpredictable challenges of living in a dynamic world.
Successful living is a difficult task. I’m not talking survival, which has its own challenges, but flourishing with a working balance of security, growth, connection, and contribution.

In 1987, I packed my little red Datsun 510 hatchback with all my possessions and headed to California to begin a thirty-year adventure. With no college education or place to live, only driven by a heart full of dreams, I left home, expecting success to be easy, freely available for any eager adventurer. I was wrong. The years that followed my innocent and courageous journey twisted my soul, challenging old resolves, and, at times, threatening my existence. I survived.

Flourishing Requires Skill

​Maybe the arrogance of youth—or just stupidity—prevented a wiser approach. I’ve watched (and tried to assist) my three children as they travel from childhood dependency to mature self-sufficiency, hoping they would experience an easier path to happiness and success. I watched as their paths, often impeded by obstacles, challenged their wills, tested their resolves and interfered with their dreams.

My conclusion: life is not easy. Successfully navigating the peaks and canyons requires skill, luck and plenty of assistance.

We consistently engage in basic life transactions. We encounter choice after choice, each with payoffs and costs, each impacting our future and the futures of others.

Key Definition:

Living Skills are competency in routine tasks necessary for flourishing. Core living skills lift, preparing the mind and body for surmounting challenges in a dynamic and changing world.

Life is Complex

Many scientific studies examine these transactions that enlighten our understanding, exposing childhood deceptions, and identifying the involved biological circuitry. As a psychological, behavioral, biological, and sociological junkie, I’m starting to get small glimpses of the complexity. Even after a couple of decades of intense study I can't claim a clear vision, understanding the grand purpose of it all; nor can I explain why it is we do what we do; but I understand that there is much more than the many versions of simplicity often presented by religions, life coaches, and cunning politicians.

​Life is complex. And within the complexity lies the answers to cause and effect.

Books  on Successful Living

We Can Make Wise Choices in Uncertainty

But even in the confusion of infinite elements, when we boil it all down, burning off the fluff, scraping away bias, and accepting many contributing factors are impossible to unveil, we still can make choices that improve our lives.
 
Throughout the weeks, months and years, we make thousands of choices (some more important than others) that influence our futures. The science of human behavior that gives insight into action, only projects a blurry image. The predictive crystal ball is general and subject to error. We must succeed amidst contending answers and the constant flow of unpredictable and destructive forces.
But I get that life is complex. And within the complexity lies the answers to cause and effect.

Natural Laws

But to live a good life, no matter what our past provided, or the support available, we must succeed in core life transactions, developing skills, avoiding common downfalls, and creating connections.

We can blame, protecting our ego by justifying poor choices; but the justifications, while soothing our soul, don’t invalidate the natural consequences. For a college degree, we must study, learn and sacrifice. For financial security, we must earn, budget and save. For relationship security, we must keep commitments, offer compassion, and communicate.

If we fail in the core transactions, then all our could-have, would have, should have explanations, won’t change the outcome, they just justify the failure.
 
We don’t always know the significance of a basic transactions at the moment—whether a choice has serious implications on the future or not. Often, the importance of an experience, a choice or a relationship fails to materialize until several years have passed—much too late to reformulate our efforts and reorganize priorities.

​We must work through the consequences the past (combined with the complex influence of the unknowns) has created. We foolishly want to blaze our own path, thinking we can deviate from proven techniques, and succeed by the great gifts of personal wisdom that we have amassed during our first twenty-years of life.

We Must Develop Core Skills

Life is much too complex for this shotgun approach. We prepare for the unknown by developing core skills to effectively make decisions. Our pattern of living right, even when future interferences are unknown, still provides a foundation to flourish. Core skills create an opportunity for more freedom—less constraints—and a better life.
 
In the ultimate mind-boggling game of life, unfairness is the standard. Although, each day is an opportunity for a new beginning, a new day is not free from the weighty consequences of the past.

​Those least equip to handle a difficult life, also tend to face more challenges. Their poor youthful actions create accumulating barriers, while simultaneously distorting their perceptions, dragging the poor lost soul further from wisdom and deeper into chaos. The further they drift, the more difficult life becomes, and the more wisdom (and strength) needed to recover. The wanderer loses touch with reality, distorting life’s feedback, greatly confusing connections between cause and effect. Without a foundation of reality, life lessons confuse rather than enlighten, failing to teach needed knowledge to correct the waywardness.
Their poor youthful actions create accumulating barriers, while simultaneously distorting their perceptions, dragging the poor lost soul further from wisdom and deeper into chaos.

Seven Core Skills for Flourishing

​Over the years, I have learned to focus on skills. A collection of fundamental skills that provide direction when faced with choice. These seven core skills build a foundation for success by creating future advantages. Life changes constantly and to keep pace we must constantly be developing. These skills keep us relevant. 

1. Self Awareness

​The ability to examine actions, thoughts and emotions. Life is chaotic without the anchor of self-knowledge. We adapt to the challenges of life. Many adapt in unhealthy ways, often blunting this powerful skill of self improvement. Maintaining in contact with the realities of our feelings and the appropriateness of our actions is an essential skill for living a flourishing life.

See Self Enlightenment for more on this topic

2. Self Discipline

​The mental muscle necessary to withstand momentary impulses, skipping some pleasures, to achieve much better rewards in the future. Many of the greatest joys are achieved through slow, methodical action—not an impulsive amusement. 

See Delayed Gratification for more on this topic

3. Compassion

​The ability to feel and express sensitivity towards others. Kindness falls in this category. Compassion is the social glue that ties us to others.

​See Human Kindness for more on this topic

4. Social Expertness

​The ability to build genuine relationships. While compassion brings us part of the way towards healthy relationships, it does not check all the relationship boxes. Relationships take work, patience, and skill. We must learn haw to listen, balance personal wants, and solve differences. These skills take practice and guidance.

​See Connections for more on this topic

5. Sense of Empowerment

​We must possess an underlying sense of empowerment. A belief that are actions matter. We must believe in our ability to transform thoughts into action. These beliefs fuel courage to act and commitment to personal change. A sense of empowerment is the opposite of helplessness. 

See Self-Determination Theory and Learned Helplessness for more on these topics

6. Healthy Values

​A foundation of values to guide creates the structure and foundation for behaviors. Known values help resolve internal conflicts, prioritizing options.

​See Living a Virtuous Life for more on this topic

7. Purpose

​Possessing an underlying reason enriches and gives energy to life. We need purpose for small actions, but also need an overarching theme that gives meaning to our lives.

​See Passionate Purpose for more on this topic 
I chose these seven skills for their utility in developing other more specific skills (budgeting, advancing careers, caring for families, etc...). The seven listed core skills give the possessor a foundation of strength to personalize their development.

Limitations of Lists

​Any simple list to give direction to a complex life has limitations; this list is no exception. Take the wisdom contained here for what it is. Reflect on it, identifying personal areas to explore, seeking expert guidance when appropriate.
 
Maybe packing my little Datsun back in 1985 was a necessary experience, giving me the wisdom needed to face the turbulent and wonderful years that followed. Perhaps, the struggles shocked my inexperienced soul, bringing me slightly closer to reality; then again, maybe a little openness to the wisdom of others might have prevented the thirty-year tragedy of growing up, developing a few core skills before taking on the entire weight of living as an adult.
Please support Flourishing Life Society with a social media share or by visiting a link:
Twitter Reddit LinkedIn Email
T. Franklin Murphy
T. Franklin Murphy
Wellness. Writer. Researcher.
​T. Franklin Murphy has a degree in psychology. He tirelessly researches scientific findings that contribute to wellness. In 2010, he began publishing his findings.

Index:

Flourishing in Life
  • Personal Development
  • Mindfulness
  • Addiction Recovery
  • Wellness 
Psychology of Wellness
  • Emotions​
  • Personality
  • Defense Mechanisms
Flourishing Relationships
  • Intimate/Romance
  • Parent/Child
  • Society
Health and Fitness
Research
About Flourishing Life
Flourishing Life Society Link to best performing articles
Psychology Definitions Data Base Link
External Links:
External Link: I’m a Reiki Master Teacher, and Here’s How I Practice Self-Healing on a Regular Basis
External Link:  The Most Powerful Lessons People Learn Much Too Late in Life
External Link: How Cognitive Bias Influences Our Decision Making
External Link: 7 of the Best Self Improvement Tips
External Link:  The psychology behind happiness 0
External Link: Can you trust yourself to make the right decision?
External Link: 3 steps to training attention on more positive matters
External Link: The Behavioral Economics Diet: The Science of Killing a Bad Habit

​Other Flourishing Life Society articles of interest on this topic:

Childhood Development and Life Trajectories. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Environments dictate the success and failure of life. We flourish when environments are accommodating. But humans can transcend this, achieving more than the world would otherwise dictate.
Picture Link: Venturing into the Unknown-- Carefully moving forward in a complex world.
The consequences of better choices don't immediately change our lives. We must trudge through the beginnings of change, and slowly the improved action accumulates and we receive our reward.
We don't spontaneously grow. We need the necessary ingredients. Our souls need to be fed and protected.
A Flourishing Life Society Link. What is Healthy Living?
Inner Strength. Psychological and Emotional Capital. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Picture
As adults, we can create better surroundings to encourage our continued growth. Some do the opposite, surround themselves with others and influences that begin the process of decay.
We are either growing or decaying. We don't remain idle.
Link: Our capitalistic society drives a digging sense that we are not sufficient; we need more. We can grow without the gnawing pain of being incomplete. We fight this with gratitude.
We, like the acorn, have great potential. We, unlike the acorn, are empowered beyond our environments. We can create environments that gives more of the nutrients and protection that we need.
Building a foundation of wisdom and skill to manage the unpredictable encounters in life.
Picture
Flourishing Life Society
  • Human Flourishing
  • Psychology of Wellness
  • Flourishing Relationships
  • Psychology Definitions​
  • Privacy Policy
​Other Links
  • About US
  • Companion Site​
  • Most Popular Articles
  • Psychology Topics A-z
Articles:
  • New Articles​
  • Last year's Publications​
  • External Psychology Links​
​Favorite Topics:
  • Mental Illness Archive
  • Personality Archive
  • Personal Development
  • Psychology of Emotions
News Letter

    New Article Updates

Subscribe to Newsletter
  • Flourishing Life Society
    • Flourishing Favorites
    • Articles by Year Published
    • Privacy Policy
    • About Us
  • Psychology Definitions
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Psychology of Emotions >
      • Emotional Data Base
    • Psychology Article Archive
  • Personal Development
    • Health and Fitness
    • Personal Development >
      • Personal Development Archive N-Z
  • Flourishing Relationships