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A Dark Past; A Bright Future

BY: T. Franklin Murphy | January 2017
Bright Future
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Building a Better Life

Wherever we are that is a given for that moment. We start from there and work forward.
The past is finished but not gone. The things that have occurred are cemented in time. We can assign new meaning to past events but cannot change them; sometimes revisiting the past is necessary. Revisiting the past may be a passage to reshaping the present; or a destructive distraction. Through a few magical tricks of the mind, we relive the pain, projecting it into the present, destroying current relationships by dwelling on the abusive past. We don’t choose this; it just happens.
#addiction #selfimprovement #wellness #recovery
Sometimes the learning system goes haywire, interjecting faulty responses that destroy rather heal. A better approach is needed. A compassionate journey into the painful past with the guidance of helpful insights can sooth pain and create understanding.
"Sometimes the learning system goes haywire, interjecting faulty responses that destroy rather heal."
Reminiscing on the impact of past choices drains attention that would be better directed towards the present. We suffer when we focus energy on countless could-have-beens, punishing ourselves for going right when we should have gone left; dirty thoughts wasting precious time. The road missed usually isn’t as rosy as we imagined it would have been. Such thoughts, while deliciously distracting, avoid the present where current decisions are made.

​When a struggling marriage sparks thought of lost opportunity, “If only I married a different person,” we are escaping the current problem. Regretting a choice and replacing it with an unknown alternative allows for flexibility, where we artfully create a joyous ending; reality can’t compete. The work required for successful relationships is a chapter pleasantly skipped over in our imaginations.
The past does, however, contain wisdom. We learn associations between behaviors and consequences. We see patterns in interactions and reoccurring emotions. By recognizing a chain of events, we can halt and change directions before hitting the same dead end. We can intervene with a healthier response, avoiding reoccurring pitfalls. We gain wisdom to make more constructive decisions.
 
Hiding in the dark corners of the past, we discover wisdom. Wisdom missed; overlooked in the heat of the moment and the immaturity of our mind; but with growth, we can utilize visits into the past, relieving unneeded guilt, and moving through hateful condemnations. We don’t simply shrug our shoulders at past hurtful choices but courageously contemplate our roles, gain wisdom and act better in the present.
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FLS Link. Contemplating Change: The contemplation stage of change is more than what we think, it is how we think, expanding our view, dismantling excuses, and building motivations.
FLS internal Link. My Amazing Discoveries in Wellness. We provide the unconscious mind with conscious work. The mind intertwines philosophies to create a personal narrative that promotes wellness.
FLS internal Link-- Growth Through Recovery: Recovery is a process of growth. There are four domains of growth that we should concentrate on to catapult us back into the game of life.
Set-backs are a part of moving forward. We not only must effectively deal with them, but we also need them.
FLS Link: Hope Theory: Motivation to Succeed. Hope is more than an optimistic reliance on unseen forces. Hope, according to Hope Theory, is a combination of three elements: realistic goals, energetic determination, and intelligent pursuit.
FLS Link: Creating a New Life. When all has crumbled and the world looks bleak, it is time to change and create a new life.
Our biology and experiences form who we are, setting us on a path. Sometimes, however, we determine to be more. We achieve greater than the individual parts dictate.
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Our plans are disrupted. Circumstances interfere with our intentions. Life will always intrude, demanding adjustments and reconciliations.
Extinguishing entrenched habits is difficult. We need more than simple will power. We must fight smart to be victorious.
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Internal Link. Self: Here I am. The consciousness of self is complex. We are dynamic beings interacting with ever-changing environments. For stability, we need a concept of self. Too firm a concept and we are limited and deceived, to weak and we have no anchor.

External Links:

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External Link: The Sober Journey:  4 Ways to stay Stronger than your Addiction
A Dark Past. A Bright Present
Topics: Addiction, Habits, Self-Improvement, Change, Growth


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