Flourishing Life Society
  • Flourishing Life Society
    • Addiction Recovery
    • Books to Flourish
    • Human Flourishing
    • Mindfulness Archive
    • Personal Development >
      • Personal Development Archive
    • Non-Profit Donation Links
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Basic Emotions >
      • Emotional Data Base
      • Emotional Fitness
    • Psychology Article Archive
  • Flourishing Relationships
    • Intimate Relationship Articles >
      • Repair Attempts
    • Society and Others Archive >
      • Politics Archive
  • Health and Fitness
  • About Us
  • Link Page
Home | Psychology of Wellness | Basic Emotions | Emotional Patterns

Emotional Patterns

When Habitual Reactions Harm

BY: T. Franklin Murphy | September 2016 (edited December 5, 2021)
A close line with three emojis of different emotions attached. A Flourishing Life Society article on harmful emotional patterns
Adobe Stock Photos
Feelings flow, igniting habitual action. We can slow the process and intervene when habitual responses harm.
He watches football all day, she sulks; he silently glares, she shouts; he insults, she slams the door. Recognizing reoccurring patterns provides an opportunity to intervene, extinguishing the unproductive with purposeful action. We can interrupt damaging cycles. With skillful planning, we manage the difficult, inviting a promising futures from the ashes of the destruction.

Understanding Emotions

Emotions are dumbfounding; logical to a point, but sometimes identifying the cause leaves us grasping for straws in the stacks of complexity. The blurred cause of feelings (whether excited or depressed) leans upon conceptual explanations, evaluating environments, experiences and socially expected responses. We assign meaning, causes, and rightness—a subjective practice.

Upon entering a new relationship, a young friend remarked, “I just want to run to the mountains and scream.” She never successfully navigated the attachment cycle—attraction, romance, commitment, vulnerability. Therefore, new opportunities spiked fear. She didn’t know how to act. Her past failures created increased anxiety.

Sometimes, our patterned responses are destructive; we yell at the person we love, steal from the company employing us, or eat foods that depress. Why do we self-sabotage?

​See Self Sabotage for more on this topic

Key Definition:

Emotional Patterns are the reoccurring cycle of intense emotions that motivate behavior. If we can identify the pattern, we can modify destructive responses.

Emotions and Learning

​We learn dangers and opportunities through experience; our minds leap or shrink, primed to act depending on the coloring created in the past. These connections are highly subjective, igniting reactive responses whether the response is appropriate for current trigger or not.

Anger, sadness, shame and guilt erupt, signaling importance. Sometimes these emotions appropriately point to approaching danger. The event triggering the emotion rightfully deserves attention and action, responding to the emotion is important for our safety, security and acceptance; other times the blaring warning of emotion is askew; there is no danger. We need to explore the emotion for wisdom, not blindly obey the impulse to act.

Key Concept:

Emotional reactions do not always lead to an appropriate response. In the heat of passion, many promising lives have been destroyed.

The Power of Reflection

The wise learn to pause, and objectively examine the absurdities. Only through mindful awareness can we restore productive behaviors by challenging misguided motivations, examining if an action is conducive to goals. ​​Often, without mindful observation, even dramatic and destructive patterns are missed, excused and repeated.

​Feelings come quickly, serve their warning and depart; our thinking often exasperates and delays the process. Our thoughts give feeling deeper meaning, turning the small trickle of feeling into a catastrophic explosion of emotion. Once identified, we can change the narrative.

Key Concept:

Non-judgmental, compassionate examination can identify harmful emotional patterns.

Changing Harmful Emotional Patterns

Changing patterned reaction is difficult. They are automatic and often unrecognized. The event, the feelings, the thoughts, and eventual emotions effortlessly flow. Recognition of  unhealthy patterns always precedes successful intervention. Our mind lost in habit quickly explains, mitigates and absolves reoccurring transgressions. Somewhere change must be made or the troublesome patterns will continue.

We can learn to new patterns. Our brains are capable of significant changes. We can disrupt past habits with new ones. We can find peace where we use to suffer. Anxieties can melt and confidence take hold. There is hope. There is help.
Please support Flourishing Life Society with a social media share or by visiting a link:
Twitter Reddit LinkedIn Email
T. Franklin Murphy
T. Franklin Murphy
Wellness. Writer. Researcher.
​T. Franklin Murphy has a degree in psychology. He tirelessly researches scientific findings that contribute to wellness. In 2010, he began publishing his findings.

Index:

Flourishing in Life
  • Personal Development
  • Mindfulness
  • Addiction Recovery
  • Wellness 
Psychology of Wellness
  • Emotions​
  • Personality
  • Defense Mechanisms
Flourishing Relationships
  • Intimate
  • Parent/Child
  • Society
Health and Fitness
Research
About Flourishing Life
Flourishing Life Society Link to research articles
Flourishing Life Society Link. Emotional Fitness
Emotion article database
External Links:
External Link: Anger Management: What to Say When You’re Too Angry to Talk
External Link: The Negative Impact of Not Feeling Your Feelings
External Link Banner: How my struggle with anxiety launched my wellness journey
External Link: Five Ways to Use Your Anger More Effectively
External Link: Stress Hinders Ability to Plan Ahead By Disrupting Memory
Link Banner: How to ride the wave of your emotions
External Link: Meditation Didn't Work For My OCD & Anxiety -- But This Practice Did
External Link. Controlling Emotions: Is it Possible?

​Other Flourishing Life Society articles of interest on this topic:

Moods interfere with interpretation of life. Stepping back with understanding helps to modify these stinkers.
Emotions are primary motivators for action. Sometimes misguided action needs to be inspected for appropriateness.
Emotional Response. Emotions and Goal Fulfillment. A Flourishing Life Society article image link
Homeostasis. A psychological definition. A Flourishing Life Society definition link
Greatness of Heart. Expressing Compassionate Kindness. A Flourishing Life Society image link
We worry. Thinking about the future is an adaptive response to complex problems; we prepare and we avoid. But too much worry interferes with constructive action. We even worry about our worrying.
Uncertainty Avoidance. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Flourishing Life Society article link banner: Brooding
We move through stages of behavior, thought and emotion. Each phase impacting the others. We work to change by modifying any (and sometimes all) of the stages.
A Flourishing Life Society article link. Mental Health Breaks
We are pulled into harmful routines by emotion. We feel and then we react. Unfortunately, our reaction isn't always helpful. We need space to think and then act more appropriately.
Memories and Emotions. How Memories Impact Wellness. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Emotional Patterns. When Emotional Reactions Hurt. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Picture
Flourishing Life Society
  • Human Flourishing
  • Psychology of Wellness
  • Flourishing Relationships
  • Psychology Definitions​
​Other Links
  • About US
  • Companion Site​
  • Most Popular Articles
  • Psychology Topics A-z
Articles:
  • New Articles​
  • Last year's Publications​
​Favorites:
  • Self-Actualization
  • Emotional Safety
  • Alexithymia
  • ​Emotional Detachment
  • Masochistic Personality
  • Reciprocal Deteminism ​
News Letter

    New Article Updates

Subscribe to Newsletter
  • Flourishing Life Society
    • Addiction Recovery
    • Books to Flourish
    • Human Flourishing
    • Mindfulness Archive
    • Personal Development >
      • Personal Development Archive
    • Non-Profit Donation Links
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Basic Emotions >
      • Emotional Data Base
      • Emotional Fitness
    • Psychology Article Archive
  • Flourishing Relationships
    • Intimate Relationship Articles >
      • Repair Attempts
    • Society and Others Archive >
      • Politics Archive
  • Health and Fitness
  • About Us
  • Link Page