Flourishing Life Society
  • Home
  • Flourishing in Life
    • Addiction Recovery
    • Mindfulness Archive
    • Coronavirus 2020
    • Personal Development
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Emotion >
      • Emotional Fitness
    • Psychology Archive
  • Flourishing Relationships
  • Health and Fitness
  • About Us
Home  | Flourishing in Life  | Relationships  | Happily Ever After

Happily Ever After

BY: T. Franklin Murphy | December 2016
Relationships are grand. they provide meaning, depth and beauty to our lives. They do not, however, cure all our ills. We can't expect a life of ease gift wrapped and freely given from our human companions.
Adobe Stock Images
Relationships are grand. they provide meaning, depth and beauty to our lives. They do not, however, cure all our ills. We can't expect a life of ease gift wrapped and freely given from our human companions.
We shed a few sentimental tears watching the happy ending culminating from a life of struggle. We are romantic by nature. We cheer for the underdog. We embrace love. Romance gives richness to life. But reality often doesn’t meet Hollywood’s standards—much too ordinary. Early romances don’t fluidly flow into maturing relationship. The greatness of early romance is not beyond the reaches of time. With these magical expectations, the normal settling of desire with a continued relationship set the stage for disappointment.
#love #relationships #relationshipproblems 
The greater the need for security, the more firmly we grasp beliefs of salvation, attachments where unconditional love abounds, no matter how unlovable our behaviors might be. But these shallow pictures of love require a partner without a soul, where the partner’s limited role is quelling our desires for security. We have no room for their expressions of individuality because those expressions arouse suspicion and fear. These visions of love do not portray the selflessness necessary for intimate connections.
Picture
Being loved imperfectly can satisfy the need for companionship. A partner can be selfish at times, without being unloving. We all have moments of selfishness. We may need assistance in soothing our relentless searching for the impossible, a perfectly satisfying lover, and settling with the realistic, enjoying the benefits, and managing the drawbacks of connection.

When faced with the limits and demands of romance, some choose to bypass attachment and spend evenings alone (there is nothing wrong with this). Unrealistic demands destroys many promising relationships. I settled for imperfection. And I’m ecstatic my wife was also willing to settle with my collection of nicks and glitches.

"But these shallow pictures of love require a partner without a soul..."
Overtime unrealistic views end in disappointment, discouragement and pain. The distorted lens of idealism begins to view the imperfect partner as the enemy, to be fixed or abandoned. Most failed relationships are not because a chosen partner transformed to the evil villain. The failed relationships slowly deteriorate from accumulated misunderstandings, false attributions, and failure to actively build connections. The lofty expectations provide goals to work toward, not the standards that must be met. 
 
Reach out to your partners in their imperfections, learn healthy conflict resolution, and build meaning together. You may not experience happily-ever-after Hollywood style, but you can enjoy a rich mixture of appreciation, joy, and sprinkled with patience.
Please support this work by sharing:
Twitter Reddit LinkedIn Email

    Monthly News Round-Up

Subscribe to Newsletter
Internal Link. Refuse to give up on Love- The hurt of broken love lingers, creating new difficulties and interfering protections. We can overcome these barriers and love again.
Internal link. Can I trust you? Trust is the golden ingredient for intimacy. Without it, relationships suffer and die. We must dependably show that our partner's happiness, and the strength of the relationship significantly influences our choices.
Picture
Connections are essential for health and well-being. A significant indicator of a lasting intimate relationship is our ability to work through the inevitable disagreements.
Relationships are complicated and can't be forced. Many fear connection.

External Links:
External Link: Compassion: the Romantic (& Sexy) Element Missing in our Lives.
External Link: Accepting Partner’s Friends: 3 Steps For Dealing With Your Wife’s Annoying Friend
External Link. What your argument style says about you.
Relationships, when healthy, provide a connection. We share emotions with respect and support. This vulnerability is the putty from which trust is shaped, formed and hardened.
Limitations always are present, sneaking into our relationships, and signalling failure; but imperfection is part of the game. We must make room for the limitations.
Wellness on the Web
External Link: The Good Men Project. You Want Something Vintage: Try Manners
external link. What Does Falling In Love Feel Like? 12 Women Nail The Definition
External Link:  Here's Why Your Man Always Seems To 'Shut Down' During An Argument & How Emotional Intelligence Can Help
External Link: No remedy for love but to love more
Relationships are grand. they provide meaning, depth and beauty to our lives. They do not, however, cure all our ills. We can't expect a life of ease gift wrapped and freely given from our human companions.
Topics: Intimate Relationships
Best of Flourishing Life Society
Flourishing Life Society Link to Best of Psychology of Wellness
LInk to Flourishing Life Society Best of 2018
FLS archive of favorite articles
Flourishing Life Society Link to Emotions


Subscribe to Newsletter
Home
  • Relationships​
  • Personal Growth​
  • Wellness
  • Emotions
Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Flourishing in Life
    • Addiction Recovery
    • Mindfulness Archive
    • Coronavirus 2020
    • Personal Development
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Emotion >
      • Emotional Fitness
    • Psychology Archive
  • Flourishing Relationships
  • Health and Fitness
  • About Us