Human Kindness

Kindness for the Masses

BY: T. Franklin Murphy | July 2016 (rewritten 3-12-2021)

Two girls shacking hands and smiling at each other with weapons behind their backs. A Flourishing Life Society article on human kindness

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We need soul felt genuine kindness for all, not just for those sharing similar ideals. We must have compassion and kindness for the masses.

As fellow travelers, crossing arid and beautiful landscapes, we should be kind to one another. This is a firmly held personal belief—no authoritative edict. But many criminal and selfish acts underlie much of the sorrows of this earth. We need more kindness—in day to day interactions, business and politics. Cooperation serves survival goals, kindness stems from instincts of cooperation, willingness to sacrifice personal benefit for the greater good.

We assess facial expressions, words and actions, with great precision, and respond, attempting to maximize personal benefit without alienation from the group. Reading feedback from others allows one to know when personal ambitions are appreciated or alienating. Our skills of interaction can assist in predicting whether a person is a friend or enemy—vulnerably approaching an enemy, without caution, could prove deadly. A keen sense of differentiating between and enemy and a friend assists in identifying dangers but remaining alert to opportunities.

We must calculate vast amounts of data to navigate the maze of connections to flourish. Improperly reading I’m-not-interested signals at the bar may lead to an embarrassing rejection, but errant assessing of a deranged and ruthless criminal may be fatal. Social skills are essential for procuring assistance. Healthy interactions develop trust, loyalty, and prove our presence is an asset to others. We survive as a group. We are all connected; like it or not.

Strong Societies Need Political Balance

Over the last several millennia, humans have remained relatively stable biologically. But our existence has vastly changed. Culture, knowledge, and skills have accumulated, being passed down from generation to generation. The knowledge gathered over centuries can be discovered within a few semesters of college.

The complexities of our society work because of cooperation. As long as the majority contributes, the group maintains strength, but if they become divided, they weaken and fall. Greed for power and money play a significant role. As a person or group gather power, they often misuse their resources for personal, rather than universal gain. Instead of blessing the group, they seek to maintain their advantage, expecting privileges and extolling punishment. History provides repeated grotesque examples of this inhumanity. Groups contend with oppressors from above while fighting temptations to project their frustrations on those beneath.

Strong societies need political balance with majority nether stingily hoarding resources; or parasitic draining resources from beneath. Strength comes from unilateral contributing to the whole, whether a nation or a marriage. (Csikszentmihalyi, 2018). The society strains to maintain balance. If too many pursue selfish aims (from the top or bottom), society collapses and people revolt.

Political Monopolies

The current rift between political powers is frightening. The growing divide, and accumulating hatred muster power and crumble the strength of historic balancing institutions. The ethical drive for betterment of society is replaced with selfish aims of power, seeking powerful and rich allegiances. Donated funds have replaced public approval. Politicians secure funds first than massage their message to fool the masses. Saving the rich billions while succoring the poor with a small morsel of leftover meat for their porridge.

Political monopolies are scary. Too much power corrupts. Someone is always left out while the other gains. Majorities often fail to consider that what is good for their region may not be good for other areas in the country.

We need political representatives to fight for their constituents but also be keenly aware of how their ideals may impact others as well.

A blind, selfish, individualized country will collapse. Here we live in a time of plenty, yet, disgustingly fight over shared wealth, still leaving many struggling and in poverty. However, power and leadership changes, bringing new ideals but the shifts completely ignore other vast groups of people.

I recently embarked on a 'virtual reality' cross-country bike trip. I quickly realized that poverty is not a condition exclusively found in the inner cities. Poverty is everywhere. Whether living in an apartment in a crowded city or an old trailer on a barren piece of land, the pains, struggles and fears can distort thinking, leading to radical revolt.

See Pro Form Exercise Bike for more on this cross country fitness journey

"The society strains to maintain balance. If too many pursue selfish aims (from the top or bottom), society collapses and people revolt."

Cooperation and Exploitation

Large numbers cooperating, however, can fail societies when majorities exploit the resources of the minority. The Stanley Milgram studies during the 1960’s illuminated the persuasive power of authority. Volunteers willingly administer painful shocks to undercover experiment confederates with only slight prodding from a white-coat lab scientist. We must be cognitively aware of impulses to give allegiance, skeptically examining the effects and making an individual decision. Sometimes, we must oppose the status quo, refusing to cooperate with movements that violate our ethical standards.

Cooperation can have destructive consequences (Rwanda, the Third Reich, Khmer Rouge). On smaller and more personal scales, cooperation impacts daily interactions. The social media boom has changed how whole generations interact, providing immediate feedback of acceptance—or rejection.

Sadly, social media has been implicated as a driving force in many suicides, mean teenagers (and sometimes their unscrupulous parents) join to bully others, not in an educated debate of ideals, but in group savagery over a weaker adversary. Cooperation—joining forces to conquer foes—often exhibits destructive hatred. Look around, watch the news, see these dark forces gathering.

Free Thinkers

In many groups, individuality is blatantly discouraged. Expression of individuality weakens the strength of the group: together we stand; divided we fall. As if, we all must agree. “If you are right, I must be wrong.” Groups have always pressured, even brow beat, followers to submit individuality to the overall betterment.

Blind following is the desire. Groups label free thinkers as radicals. Ignorance has become the norm. Republican leaders want to dictate what all the republican representatives think and support. The same goes for Democrat leaders. Neither party wants free thinkers and open debate. A whole nation of people can not be stuffed into two strict and ungiving frameworks of ideas.

Technology exposes this group mentality, suppressing individual expression—and rejection. A tweet can quickly leave a person ostracized, a quick wave of sarcastic and blatant meanness powerfully correct perceived wrongness and novelty of thought.

Desire to be Accepted in to a Group

The desire to be appreciated is natural, not selfish. Appreciation signals acceptance to the soul, bolstering security—together we stand. But when we focus only on appreciation, our kindness loses potency. The selfishness behind the behavior is eventually exposed. Paradoxically, we must diminish the drive for appreciation in order to secure the appreciation we crave. Narrowed vision evaluating individual acts for rewards fail. We need to expand our perspective. We become kind, possessing genuine concern for others (compassion), and in return we will be appreciated—generally.

A staple of healthy living is kindness—the deeper kindness of character—not a shallow expression. We are kind because we love others and we love life.

Characteristics, such as kindness must be developed. They’re not a possession, but a dynamic quality that expands and shrinks. Be patient, examine behaviors with openness. Reflect on your discoveries, curiously digging for hidden motivations. We must mindfully see others with deeper explorations, asking: “What is she feeling right now?” By purposely directing attention to others, we build new habits of mind, reaching beyond the stingy borders of self; we invite greater empathy by thinking with greater empathy. This empathy then that opens to compassion, and compassion acts with kindness—real kindness, the kindness born in the heart and that lives in the soul.

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T. Franklin Murphy

Wellness. Writer. Researcher.
T. Franklin Murphy has a degree in psychology. He is dedicated to the science of wellness. In 2010, he began publishing his findings.