Flourishing Life Society
  • Flourishing Life Society
    • Flourishing Favorites
    • Articles by Year Published
    • Privacy Policy
    • About Us
  • Psychology Definitions
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Psychology of Emotions >
      • Emotional Data Base
    • Psychology Article Archive
  • Personal Development
    • Health and Fitness
    • Personal Development >
      • Personal Development Archive N-Z
  • Flourishing Relationships
Flourishing Life | Personal Development | Learning from Mistakes

Learning from Mistakes

BY: T. Franklin Murphy | January 2014 (edited January 8, 2022)
A pocket watch with a background of old books. A Flourishing Life Society article on Learning from Mistakes
Adobe Stock Images
Experience offers the opportunity to gather valuable wisdom; but wisdom is not guaranteed. We often fail to learn from the mistake and miss the valuable lesson. 
A hallmark of humanity is our potential for growth. We engage in lifelong BECOMING. With the drive towards the future, we mistakenly mourn the present; comparing our present imperfect self with the unattainable ideal self. Life’s not perfect. There’s always another shortcoming to face, a mistake to repair, and an emotion to process. Ideals provide direction but wrongly longed for, they can discourage.
"If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything. I'm positive that a doer makes mistakes."
John Wooden
The idealistic vision doesn’t encourage growth—not by itself. Negative evaluations of the self diminishes confidence and induces anxiety—both draining energy. Growth requires a kind environment, providing nutrients and protection. Appreciation for the present creates that friendly environment.
"No one is immune to making mistakes – we are human, after all! But if we simply apologize and carry on as before, we're in danger of repeating the same errors."
Mind Tools

Perfectionism and Mistakes

​​Constantly hoping for unattainable perfection disrupts the mind, distracting with the constant pangs of lack. The trouble-free life doesn’t exist. We all have a little drama. A new partner, a better career, or a bigger house will not save us from the disruptions of living.

​A new car, children and education have benefits but also drawbacks; they won’t—by themselves—relieve the inevitable struggles. After overcoming one obstacle, we usually are challenged by another.
"Optimism isn't a lack of problems but rather the ability to deal with problems without loss of enthusiasm."
John Spacey | Simplicable

Repeating  the Same Mistakes

Are we running on a treadmill? Are dreams of improvement spurring disappointment, keeping the ideal life dangling just beyond our grasp? Daydreams motivate but also distract. We may need to give up the comfort of an imagined paradise in exchange for a less disappointing future—a realistic future. In reality, we actively create the future, not just dream of the perfect one.

Five Steps for Learning from Mistakes

  1. Acknowledge Your Errors
  2. Ask Yourself Tough Questions that Uncover Personal Contributions that Led to the Mistake
  3. Make a Mistake Prevention Plan
  4. Restructure the Environment to Make Repeating the Same Mistake Difficult
  5. Create List of Reasons Why You Don't Want to Repeat the Same Mistake​
Amy Morin  | Forbes Magazine

Learning from Experience

There’s a difference between thirty-years of experience and a single year repeated thirty times.

​By approaching the same experience with the same responses, we fail to grow, caught in a fruitless cycle. But when we mindfully examine experience; we gain wisdom. Painful experiences don’t automatically bless with wisdom, implementing the lessons requires skill.
"Learning from your mistakes does not happen automatically—it requires thinking and reflection." 
Darius Foroux
We often fail to gain wisdom because we fail at one of the steps. We don't want to ask the difficult question that uncovers our role in the mistake. Blaming is soft on the ego but prevents helpful wisdom for similar future encounters.

Wisdom is not guaranteed with passing years; but through mindful reflection, awareness of personal engagement with that experience, acknowledging behaviors, and realistic insights to apply to the future. In the beginning, as we reset routines, we may need to live just for today, but as we become skilled, we lift our heads and see a little further—today expands to a week, a year and eventually a flourishing life.
Please support Flourishing Life Society with a social media share or by visiting a link:
Twitter Reddit LinkedIn Email
T. Franklin Murphy
T. Franklin Murphy
Wellness. Writer. Researcher.
​T. Franklin Murphy has a degree in psychology. He tirelessly researches scientific findings that contribute to wellness. In 2010, he began publishing his findings.

Index:

Flourishing in Life
  • Personal Development
  • Mindfulness
  • Addiction Recovery
  • Wellness 
Psychology of Wellness
  • Emotions​
  • Personality
  • Defense Mechanisms
Flourishing Relationships
  • Intimate
  • Parent/Child
  • Society
Health and Fitness
Flourishing Topics
​Books to Flourish
Psychological Definitions
Research
About Flourishing Life
A Flourishing Life. What is a Flourishing Life? A Flourishing Life Society Link
External Links:
External Link: No, Evolution is Not Random
External Link. Personal Intimacy as an Overlooked Antidepressant
External Link: 9 Habits That The World's Healthiest & Longest-Lived People Share
External Link. mental-health clarity under pandemic pressures
External Link: How Micromanipulations Help Narcissists Stay in Control

​Other Flourishing Life Society articles of interest on this topic:

Learning from Failure. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Change requires more than insightful glimpses at ourselves. We need to force new action and form habits.
The present offers some fabulous gifts; but sometimes (often) we should pass and work towards a better future.
link: Life Lessons
Being Productive. Flourishing with Productivity. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Workable Plan. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Flourishing Life Society  Link. Trials of Life
Picture
Wellness: It's All About Balance. Discovering Wellness by Living a Balanced Life. A Flourishing Life Society article
We are either growing or decaying. We don't remain idle.
A Flourishing Life Society article link. Fear of Failure
Perfectionism Definition Link
Flourishing Life Society article link. Evolutionary novices, learning to adapt to a fast changing world
Compassionate gazes into our soul, and although we see imperfections, we don't harshly judge. With knowledge of strengths and weaknesses, we kindly begin to change
FLS Link: Creating a New Life.
A Flourishing Life Society article image link. Self Determination
Drawing wisdom from Experience
Picture
Flourishing Life Society
  • Human Flourishing
  • Psychology of Wellness
  • Flourishing Relationships
  • Psychology Definitions​
  • Privacy Policy
​Other Links
  • About US
  • Companion Site​
  • Most Popular Articles
  • Psychology Topics A-z
Articles:
  • New Articles​
  • Last year's Publications​
  • External Psychology Links​
​Favorite Topics:
  • Mental Illness Archive
  • Personality Archive
  • Personal Development
  • Psychology of Emotions
News Letter

    New Article Updates

Subscribe to Newsletter
  • Flourishing Life Society
    • Flourishing Favorites
    • Articles by Year Published
    • Privacy Policy
    • About Us
  • Psychology Definitions
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Psychology of Emotions >
      • Emotional Data Base
    • Psychology Article Archive
  • Personal Development
    • Health and Fitness
    • Personal Development >
      • Personal Development Archive N-Z
  • Flourishing Relationships