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Home | Human Flourishing | Personal Development | Life is Hard
BY: T. Franklin Murphy | February 2019 (edited January 13, 2022)
A work glove and an axe lying on the ground. A Flourishing Life Society article on life being hard.
Adobe Stock Images
We are challenged. Life is hard. Many forces push and shove. We can, however, make it through with resolve and support.
Pain, sorrow, depression—life serves up some nastiness. The positive-thinking crowds shudder at the audacity of a facebook poster to even suggest such negativity. Just as little Johnny must eat his brussels sprouts before the chocolate cake, so must we—living in the real world—experience a little discomfort before obtaining the sweet rewards. Unless a neurosurgeon slices a few well-placed lesions in the feeling portions of our brains, life will never be completely painless. Life is hard.

​Before making the medical call, take careful note of the past failed experimentation with frontal lobotomies. Disfiguring the brain to relieve perceived malfunctions leads to many unattended complications. As emotional creatures, we experience a full range of emotions. A successful and fulfilling life is dependent on effective responses to emotions—even the discomforting ones, not disengagement.
"​It can become difficult at times to remember that being a human is hard stuff."
 Kate Swoboda | Your Courageous Life

Overcoming Life Difficulties Through Action

Activity, accomplishments, and engagement creates a better future. Languishing in self-pity and destructive distractions damage the future. Our response to the stresses of living determine how our lives will be shaped, creating a helpful or hurtful future. In many ways, this is a cruel game.

​Those who struggle with decision making, often settling for foolish action are confronted with more difficult choices the further they down the road. Those less skilled at the art of living tend to create a more difficult life. If we want better presents, we must engage in future oriented work.
"So often I see people striving for an easy life. Everything that is sold to us has this promise: life will be easier with this. Comfort. It’s an American obsession." 
​Brandon Kelley

Discomfort Normal

The downer mood drains energy and limits effectiveness, creating more to worry about later. Sorrow after significant loss is normal; we need time to grieve. Sometimes the tasks of life overwhelm and our biological system rebels—even shuts down.

​We shouldn’t feel compelled to force a smile or courageously continue. We should listen to our bodies and pull back. We compound sorrows by feeling guilty over negative feelings, intensifying the overwhelm.  We torment ourselves for feeling normal discomforting emotions. But—as a kindly reminder—when we feel sorrow, one key to feeling better according to behavior activation theory is to engage in the activity of living. 
"Life is hard, but there are moments, sometimes hours - and, if you're really lucky, full days - where everything feels just right."
Andy Grammer

We may not be ready to socialize, forcing too much interaction may be harmful. We can, however, engage in productive activities rather than protective activities. We recover by expending energy that will promote self-healing, assisting with the processing of sorrows--gentle exercise, exposure to sunlight, a walk in nature, gardening in the yard, or creative writing. These and many other simple activities heal the soul and lift spirits, preparing the body to heal.

We must focus attention on what needs doing. Make a habit of engaging in the important work of living. This is how we flourish. Those who succeed in this task are not lucky; they are skilled. They are masters of living. They are engaged in the act of doing.
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Human Flourishing. What is a Flourishing Life? A Flourishing Life Society Link

​Other Flourishing Life Society articles of interest on this topic:

Drawing wisdom from Experience
Internal Link. Accepting Life on Its Terms: We stress over the hardships; but life is what is. It always will have troublesome moments. Happiness comes and goes; just as sorrows. Once we accept these inevitable truths, the impact of troubles diminishes.
A Flourishing Life Society link. Entitlement to Ease
We Try. Courageously Doing Our Best. A Flourishing Life Society article image link
Mental Recovery:  A Flourishing Life Society Article Link
Workable Plan. A Flourishing Life Society article link
We don't spontaneously grow. We need the necessary ingredients. Our souls need to be fed and protected.
Conflict. A pathway to growth. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Accepting life on life's own terms, frees us from the magical thinking of paradise and allows us to make the most of reality.
A Flourishing Life Society article link. Fear of Failure
A flourishing Life Society article link. Emotional Overload
Present Moment. The Here and Now. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Inner Strength. Psychological and Emotional Capital. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Life is complex, not easily described in words. True wisdom comes from accepting the messiness in the unknowable world.
We don't exist in a world of right and wrong choices. There is not a perfect map for us to follow. Most choices include drawbacks and benefits. We must carefully balance our lives, and continually monitor and make adjustments.
Life is Both Good and Bad. Learning to Accept Both. A Flourishing Life Society article.
Life is Hard. A Flourishing Life Society article link
  • Flourishing Life Society
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