BY: T. Franklin Murphy | April 2018
Awareness of Choice; Mindfulness of Action
We lose control of our lives when we act without deeper contemplations. Impulses misguide, leading to chaotic survival and ego feeding action. We must live consciously to escape these deadly pitfalls.
New technology has brought driverless cars to our roadways. It may take a decade for us to relinquish control of the driver seat to a computer. Texting and driving will no longer create a hazard. But who holds the wheel directing our lives? We willingly give control away, and aimlessly drift. We need to live life more consciously—at least most do. We shouldn’t just blindly follow impulses, leaving events unexamined. Our lives improve when given mindful attendance. When we consciously take responsibility for our pain, sufferings, and hurts as well as successes and joys, we diminish the power of deceptions that intrude, distort life and take over thinking. We shouldn’t run from responsibility but courageously face the demons, hiding beneath the surface and pulling the strings that direct our lives.
Haunted pasts live in the present, disfiguring beauties and inciting fear. Healthy adaptation must account for the bothersome disrupting choice. To deny emotion, invites inflexible approaches, displacements of blame, destructive escapes, and dreams without fulfillment. We can do better.
We can acknowledge hurt, dodge our tendencies to blame and seek healthier approaches; the actions that lift to new heights, wider perspectives and bountiful riches. We can address problems that we accurately identify. If causes remain hidden, denied or projected outside ourselves they continue their reign of terror over our lives. We must consciously grasp the causes and then adjust. A very difficult task for those that have habitually lived in the shadows of reality to protect their sensitive egos.
If a problem is too big for us to resolve on our own, we must seek help, utilizing strong social networks and professionals. Many times, our tender egos fear exposure and avoiding rejection by protecting the self against judgments. These overt protections separate us from the positive influence of healthy relationships. On our own, we slowly disengage from the society, slipping further into our own delusions. Our weaknesses provoke insecurities, so we deny their existence. We get the convoluted idea that we can quietly change, escape our prison of habit without embarrassing disclosures. Or perhaps, we don’t trust our resolve and prefer for others not to know when we fail. We prepare for failure by keeping our effort secret, losing the additional strength from supportive others.
"Our weaknesses provoke insecurities, so we deny their existence. We get the convoluted idea that we can quietly change, escape our prison of habit without embarrassing disclosures."
Part of the initial downfall into destructive habits usually begins with the tendency to excuse, hide and avoid consequences. If we continue this adaptive style of hiding faults to avoid social disapproval, we will never emerge victor. We don’t need to change our behavior; we need to change our mode of dealing with troublesome behaviors then the behaviors begin to change. We need a sponsor, a friend, or a professional where we can honestly report successes and failures.
Our lives are imperfect. Conscious living brings us back to reality, recognizing the flaws, fears, and sensitivities. We first bring the blemishes into consciousness; then courageously soothe vulnerabilities with healthier adaptations, utilizing the strength of trusted others. As we do so, we find, even in weakness, we are still valuable and capable of being loved.
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