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Home  |  Flourishing in Life  | Human Growth  | Magically Dissolving the Past

Magically Dissolving the Past

BY: T. Franklin Murphy |May 2018
We live in the present. A tightly bound package of experiences from the past. The past lives in us but does not determine our future.
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Living with What We Have Been Given
We live in the present. A tightly bound package of experiences from the past. The past lives in us but does not determine our future.
Sensitive childhood emotions don’t simply dissolve with a little insight. A wise guide may help identify origins of dysfunctional reaction, but the destructive action may continue. The insight only serves to give a deeper understanding of the cause. The work of change still must be implemented. Stubborn childhood issues challenge our healthy resolves throughout our lives. We must continually work through the internal resistance to achieve intentions. Yet with some self-directed compassion for personal soft spots, we can—with time— live effectively despite impoverished childhood. The emotional marks etched in our brains may still unpredictably resurface, wreaking havoc; but instead of crumbling, we can stand-up, stick out our chest and move forward.
#healing #recovery #change #selfimprovement
We must—if we are to succeed--weave the emotional past into the tapestry of our present. The past will always be a part of who we are—including how we feel. The threads of the past may be a different color and texture than what we would prefer; but with guidance, skill and patience, we can artfully blend what has been given with our desires of what we want to become.
 
Perfect pasts are not a requirement for a healthy, joyful present. Perhaps to easy of a past, with too much given, may interfere with the realities of a grown-up life where challenges must be courageously faced, avoided insights unburied, and effective approaches implemented. Childhood’s prepare the individual for a long-life of self-sufficiently. The demands for existence in human society are complex and dynamic. No childhood imparts perfect wisdom. The adult, recently freed from the nest, must test skills, make adjustments, and practice new approaches. We survive not through perfect training but effective adaptations, flexible to changing environments, and continued guidance from respectable teachers.
"Perfect pasts are not a requirement for a healthy, joyful present."
Childhoods, already in the past, fall within the realms of the things we cannot change, we can dwell on the negative impacts of childhood traumas, but the past remains. The part of our lives that is moldable is the present. Here we make choices, here we act, here we feel pleasure and pain.  
 
Often unfavorable experiences will demand extra work in the present; but we still can broaden visions, enjoy relationships, and achieve dreams.

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FLS link. Posttraumatic Growth: Significant traumatizing events destroy our stable view of the world. From these ashes, growth is possible. We get back up, re-examine our world, adjust our expectations and move forward, a little wiser and stronger. We grow in response to the trauma.
FLS Link: Change is a four-letter word. We are threatened by the need to adapt; but successful maneuvering through the complex demands of an ever-moving world requires a flexing and adaptable approach. We must change, sacrificing some of our specialness for a happier and better existence.
FLS Link. Society or the Individual: A battle rages, fingers are pointed but the epidemic lives on. Our approach to addiction as a society and individuals have failed. We need to do better.
FLS Link. Self-forgiveness: Genuine self-forgiveness is a process of accepting responsibility, working through the emotions, repairing damage, and recommitting to values.
Avoidance relieves stress in the moment; but habitual running carries a high price, impacting futures, and limiting growth.
Accepting human limitations without imposing limiting beliefs.
FLS Link. Relapse Prevention: High-Risk Situations. Moving from detox to sustained recovery often travels through lapses. Preparing for lapses assists recovering drug and alcohol abusers achieve full recovery and regain control of their lives.
​Our lives are set in motion before we realize we have choices. In adulthood, we must confront errant programming and create something better.

External Articles:
External Link: How to Deal With Life (When You Don’t Feel In Control)
External Link: Recovery stories: Three people share their roads
External Link: I Am Racist, I Vow to End Racism
External Link: Don't Panic: Replaying My Shame
Sustainable joy is more than present pleasure. The best lives comes from actions that produce joy over time, not just momentary amusement.
We confront the overwhelming experiences of life through a variety of escapes. A healthy adults adaptation mature as they grow, allowing for contact with reality; others, however, build deeper deviations from reality and squander the richness of living.
Past memories influence emotions and emotions motivate action. Learning the connections helps us identify when pasts and emotions are interfering with desired futures.
We cannot change without awareness of what needs to be changed. Little deceptions creep in and hide pertinent information.
There is no set-standard for a life well-lived. Cultures, families and religions have their own take. We must find something that works for us personally without hurting others along the way.
Wellness on the Web
External Link: No One Is Above the Law of Consistency
External Link:  How to End the Cycle of Addiction in Your Family
External Link: How to Break an Addiction
External Link: Nature vs. Nurture And Its Impact On Substance Abuse
We live in the present. A tightly bound package of experiences from the past. The past lives in us but does not determine our future.
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