Flourishing Life Society
  • Flourishing Life Society
    • Flourishing Favorites
    • Articles by Year Published
    • Privacy Policy
    • About Us
  • Psychology Definitions
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Psychology of Emotions >
      • Emotional Data Base
    • Psychology Article Archive
  • Personal Development
    • Health and Fitness
    • Personal Development >
      • Personal Development Archive N-Z
  • Flourishing Relationships
Home | Psychology of Wellness | Psychology Articles | Meaning Making Machines

Meaning Making Machines

Creating Meaning From Experience

BY: T. Franklin Murphy | June 2016 (edited January 15, 2022)
A hand with an image of the earth floating above the open palm. A Flourishing Life Society article on our cognitive practice of giving events meaning
Stock Adobe Royalty Free Images
​Our minds work to sort and make sense of the array of data soaked in from experience. We sort, we order and then we explain.
​

We are meaning making machines. When Susan doesn’t respond to a text, with no other credible information, our wheels churn, giving her absence meaning: “She’s mad at me.” We are driven to seek meaning. We are not satisfied with the simple facts—we want to know why.

The meanings are more than a bundle of words floating through our minds; the meanings influence emotion—the more meaningful an event, the more emotional the memory. It rarely occurs to us that an emotional arousal—fear, anger, disgust or simple joy—could be reacting to a wrong assessment. But meaning may be very wrong: Susan may be driving or dropped her phone in the bathtub. But the impact of meaning doesn’t stop with a single event, subsequent events are also tainted.


​The faulty assessments bias future encounters. A new event may provoke greater arousal than it deserves. Emotional distortions create distorted interpretations that compound with each subsequent encounter.

Impoverished childhoods and traumatic experiences interfere with accurate assessments in adulthood. Past hurts spill into the present encouraging self-protecting behaviors. These behaviors limit opportunities, spoil relationships, and create more pain. The habitual responses flow so naturally and feel so justified that we overlook self-sabotaging behaviors.
​

Traumatic Experience and Future Emotions

High emotions take their toll, creeping into all aspects of our lives, closing doors, cheating futures. The pain from past hurt continues forward, interfering with trust, bonds and intimacy. When we are threatened, mundane events appear ferocious. We misinterpret the casual word as an attack. We automatically—and unconsciously—respond with shame, anger, emotional detachment or spiteful revenge.

​The response is understandable given the past. We attach deep meaning to the current infraction, frightened and cornered, survival instincts jump to action; we puff our chests and attack. The accusatory reaction doesn’t resolve the problem—often creates a divide, shaking safety for both partners. Our adaptation is counter-productive, creating more of what we do not like.

Emotional Safety

We need a safety zone. Healthy relationships provide shelter from fearful futures. We know we are loved because we feel it. An ill-tempered word from a partner is softened because we know their heart. The safety zone of a relationship deteriorates with unpredictability. When fights create the drama of possible abandonment, we find no security. The drama of on and off relationships damages the soul.

See Emotional Safety for more on this topic

We live in a world of unpredictable acceptance. Love is spoiled by the conditional offering—I love you when you do what I say. Both partners feel the lack of security, no secure base is present for retreat when life becomes stressful. Outside stressors create stronger relationships when the relationship provides relief. But insecure relationships add to the stress.

​Our expressions of hurt, sorrow or anger generate too many emotions for the relationship to manage—outside stressors overwhelm the fragile connections. When one partner seeks solace from outside pressures and is rebuffed, the failure to provide safety in times of trouble erodes trust, intimacy is destroyed, and partners become guarded.
"The pain from past hurt continues forward, interfering with trust, bonds and intimacy. When we are threatened, mundane events appear ferocious."

Mindfulness

We can fight the emotional tendencies that undermine connection. With mindful attentiveness, and professional guidance, partners can recognize when the past is intruding on the present. By recognizing unreasonable reactions to triggering event creates space and a chance to intercede before the automatic response.

​We intervene in the destructive cycle of communication. An enlightened partner examines the accuracy of assigned meanings, created by the mind and influencing emotions and then step back to consider alternate explanations. This process isn’t fool proof; emotional reactions occur beneath the veil of consciousness. But we can expand awareness, catching previously unseen influencers that evaded detection.
 
We cheat the opportunity to gain wisdom through by blindly following habitual processes:
​
  • We erroneously mind read, assigning faulty attitudes, thoughts, and feelings to others
  • We make judgments from ambiguous signals
  • We judge behaviors from biased coding systems
  • Our assessments are strongly influenced by present moods and attitudes
  • The degree we feel a judgment is correct doesn’t directly related to actual accuracy

Identifying Faulty Labels

To improve, we must acknowledge the imperfectness of assigned meanings—whether those meanings are explicit or not. If we accept unconditionally this aberration of the mind, we are more susceptible to the ills. Supposed cognitive sureties must be challenged. Without thought, we simply feel, react and then justify. Our automatic reaction goes unchallenged and often destroy our lives.

Unfortunately, the easy path of sticking to past practices has a high price—stagnation. We may fine tune explanations, seemingly giving legitimacy to reactions but keep doing the same darn things that destroy us and our relationships. We don’t need more articulate reasons; we need better action. We must challenge the behavior, not fine tune the justifications. We sacrifice the sanctity of a perfect self but gain the security of stronger relationships. The lack of security that inflicts too many cruelly deprives them of moving into the vulnerability that ultimately builds security.
 
Emotions can get the best of us and get lost in silly explanations. When highly aroused, emotions limit effective reasoning. If using mindfulness is a new experience, grant sufficient time for aroused emotions to settle before responding. Trying to force emotionally aroused partners or ourselves into calm submission heightens resistance and reinforces emotional divides.

​Navigating the intricate maze of interpersonal relations during heighten arousal obscures options, evokes frustration, and ultimately destroys bonds; first recover, and then reengage, remembering to disengage if emotions begin to intrude. Over time, we develop the skills to soothe our aroused system without the frequent need for escapes.
 
A mindful approach creates a safe zone in relationships where intimacy develops, hope is inspired, and unbreakable bonds forged. We still will have active minds, giving meaning to the events; but when the emotions are soothed, we open the mind for more practical and less emotionally fused reasons. Our meaning-making machines will still live but will more effectively serve our long-term goals of stronger relationships.
Please support Flourishing Life Society with a social media share or by visiting a link:
Twitter Reddit LinkedIn Email
Share
T. Franklin Murphy
T. Franklin Murphy
Wellness. Writer. Researcher.
​T. Franklin Murphy has a degree in psychology. He is dedicated to the science of wellness. In 2010, he began publishing his findings.

Index:

Flourishing in Life
  • Personal Development
  • Mindfulness
  • Addiction Recovery
  • Wellness 
Psychology of Wellness
  • Emotions​
  • Personality
  • Defense Mechanisms
Flourishing Relationships
  • Intimate
  • Parent/Child
  • Society
Health and Fitness
Research
About Flourishing Life
A Flourishing Life. What is a Flourishing Life? A Flourishing Life Society Link
Psychology of Wellness Banner link to Flourishing Life Society articles

​Other Flourishing Life Society articles of interest on this topic:

Self-System. A Flourishing Life Society article link.
Life is Both Good and Bad. Learning to Accept Both. A Flourishing Life Society article.
FLS link. Context Dependent
Flourishing Life Society Link. Article Delay of Gratification. Delaying gratification is not from a strong will to resist, but skilled use of techniques to weaken temptation.
FLS link. A Narrative Identity that Heals: We write the story of our life. We create our identity through the narrative that we tell. We must create a narrative that heals our wounded souls.
Our amazing mind assigns meaning to felt experience, creating emotion. Sometimes this process misdiagnosis the environment and leads us astray.
FLS internal Link. Life's Journey: Structure and Chaos. We travel through life, sometimes towards meaningful destinations, other times aimlessly wandering. We need both purpose and pleasure for psychological wellness.
Deceptions: A Maladaptive Response to Stress. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Flourishing Life Society Link. Memory: Memories aren't perfect. They form to fit our beliefs, limiting learning and encouraging justifications.
Experience burns into the networks of the brain, creating a map to quickly assess new experience
We struggle to objectively evaluate ourselves. We subjectively change the facts to fit our self-supporting reality.
Internal FLS link. Attuning with an Improved 'Theory of Mind': The human capacity to consider underlying mental states associated with behaviors must be carefully developed to improve predictions and attune with others.
Meaning Making Machines. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Picture
Flourishing Life Society
  • Human Flourishing
  • Psychology of Wellness
  • Flourishing Relationships
  • Psychology Definitions​
  • Privacy Policy
​Other Links
  • About US
  • Companion Site​
  • Most Popular Articles
  • Psychology Topics A-z
Articles:
  • New Articles​
  • Last year's Publications​
  • External Psychology Links​
​Favorite Topics:
  • Mental Illness Archive
  • Personality Archive
  • Personal Development
  • Psychology of Emotions
News Letter

    New Article Updates

Subscribe to Newsletter
  • Flourishing Life Society
    • Flourishing Favorites
    • Articles by Year Published
    • Privacy Policy
    • About Us
  • Psychology Definitions
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Psychology of Emotions >
      • Emotional Data Base
    • Psychology Article Archive
  • Personal Development
    • Health and Fitness
    • Personal Development >
      • Personal Development Archive N-Z
  • Flourishing Relationships