Flourishing Life Society
  • Home
  • Flourishing in Life
    • Addiction Recovery
    • Coronavirus 2020
    • Personal Development
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Emotion >
      • Emotional Fitness
    • Psychology Archive
  • Flourishing Relationships
  • Health and Fitness
  • About Us
Home  | Flourishing in Life  | Human Growth | More than Meets the Eyes

More than Meets the Eye

BY: T. Franklin Murphy | July 2017
Limiting Judgments
Adobe Stock Images
Accurate appraisals are difficult in a complex world. Others have much more to them than the simplicity we see.
There is more; more to others; and more to ourselves. We don’t see it all because we can’t comprehend it all. We formulate a picture from a dim snapshot blurred by bias. We lean on our limiting view as if it is reality. We see prominent lines and colors but miss the underlying textures; beneath the rough acknowledged exterior resides the meat of reality—all the details we can’t examine. We gather information then act, then justify our action by opposing any conflicting opinions that question our motives. Perceptions are incomplete, and often wrong. The wise purposely work to clarify and expand perceptions, digging for missing facts, and considering conflicting data. But even scrupulous investigations fail; we still exist with incomplete knowledge.
#compassion #empathy #bias #flourishinglife
Painful experiences that are obscure from consciousness hide in the shadows of the present, disrupting and coloring reality. From these biases, our mind rearranges facts to form a reality fitting our personal narrative; the mind smoothly excludes, manipulates and changes unacceptable facts. We skillfully distort experiences in the language centers of our mind. Numerous, modules, and systems within the brain process the constant flow of information; the voluminous sorting of data exceeds the capacity of working memory, much of experience evades consciousness. Like a flashlight in a dark room, attention focuses on select pieces of information, often only concentrating on areas that support pre-conceived beliefs; missing potentially helpful and important information, reality often resides in the dark corners of the mind—dodged, neglected and denied.
racism collage. Flourishing Life Society Article
Adobe Stock Images
Through manipulation of data, no matter the exposure, we tend to maintain the same beliefs; our thoughts of self, whether smart or stupid, beautiful or ugly, success or failure are all supported by experience strengthening our pre-conceived notions. The same experience may trigger shame or pride depending on our underlying belief and the thought manipulation of the experience.
 
This distorted reality is useful. A positive self-image boosts confidence and assists coping with inevitable pains of being human. At times, narrowing vision directs focus to areas we can change, instead of being overwhelmed in a frenzy of fear. But deeply entrenched distortions also limit growth, limiting access to necessary knowledge, diminishing ability to relate to the outside world, leading to miscalculations and poorly directed efforts---which we explain away as someone else’s fault.
"The same experience may trigger shame or pride depending on our underlying belief and the thought manipulation of the experience.."
So, what can we do? We can’t simply wave a wand to magically see and feel what currently is hidden. Bringing the unknown into the light is a long process, fighting the ever-present push to support what we know the world to be. But this fight is necessary to fight biases, invite openness, and bless the world in ways beyond our simple egotistical views.
 
Growth requires explorations into the unknown; where both pleasant and unpleasant discoveries will be found. We must accept uncertainties, dismissing the faulty comfort knowing it all. We must embrace some insecurity to warmly welcome new knowledge. The richness of living expands through widening views and awes of the unknown, not from the confining walls of certainty.  Openness to a variety of emotions, novel experiences, and intimacy from connections invite newness, patience, and wonderful skepticism of preconceived notions.
With careful examination, we discover many discomforting realities, slowly diminishing previous distortions. Only through intentional awareness do we courageously face weaknesses and improve. Acknowledging personal selfishness, fears, and unrealistic expectations will initially heighten discomfort. But our willful blindness compounds the weakness inviting uniformed choices and accumulating harsh consequences. Our narrow vision destroys relationships and diminishes our ability to identify promising opportunities.
 
Our snapshot of reality will always be distorted. But with effort, new images take shape and our vision expands. We will discover elements we missed, and weaknesses to be addressed. Life will imperfectly continue forward but now with notable adjustments. The confining walls dissolve, providing greater opportunities for connection, growth and happiness.
Please support FLS with a share:
Twitter Reddit LinkedIn Email

    Flourishing Life Society Wellness Newsletter

Subscribe to Newsletter
*I respect your privacy, email addresses used for newsletter distribution only
Pandemic Crazy: This Pandemic is driving the world crazy. Well, okay, we were already crazy. It's just giving us another thing to be crazy about.
FLS Link. Patronizing Toleration:  Toleration is better than discrimination. However, toleration suggests refraining from acting on objectionable differences. We can do better.
Accepting human limitations without imposing limiting beliefs.
FLS Link. Recovering from a Toxic Relationship: Healing from relationship hurts takes time. We can aid healing through these practices.
​When differences arise, it is easy to move straight to protection, building walls to save our tender egos. This stymies intimacy, preventing trust, and destroys closeness. We need open exploration.
We need a sense of security to thrive. If we are continually frightened, we will pull into ourselves and limit opportunity.
FLS Link. Self-forgiveness: Genuine self-forgiveness is a process of accepting responsibility, working through the emotions, repairing damage, and recommitting to values.
As adults, we can create better surroundings to encourage our continued growth. Some do the opposite, surround themselves with others and influences that begin the process of decay.
Internal FLS link. Attuning with an Improved 'Theory of Mind': The human capacity to consider underlying mental states associated with behaviors must be carefully developed to improve predictions and attune with others.
The human ability to share intelligence catapults our species into a different realm of existence. Knowledge accumulates from generation to generation. However, the concepts are muddied with bias, amazingly resistant to change.

External Links:
External Link: Why Introverts Are the Best Leaders
External Link: Stop Waiting To Be Perfect To Be Happy
External Link: https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-surprising-science-behind-friendship-11581256802?fbclid=IwAR2K5PsculwOAQqWNtABEh-Ei4eBGFrDFSne6CmOmWAHT7pJb8vpZxefXpg
External Link: Do You Fall in Love Fast, Easily, and Often?
Picture
Picture
Relationships, when healthy, provide a connection. We share emotions with respect and support. This vulnerability is the putty from which trust is shaped, formed and hardened.
Wellness on the Web
External Link: The time for gratitude is now
External Link: Anxiety Management and the Paradox of Trigger Warnings
External Link: How to forgive someone who has hurt you--and why you should
External Link: Compassion: the Romantic (& Sexy) Element Missing in our Lives.
Accurate appraisals are difficult in a complex world. Others have much more to them than the simplicity we see.
Topics: Human Growth, Complexity, Relationships, Judgement
To flourish, we must attend to progress, not stagnating in the present but on a course of improvement of mind, spirit and body.
Picture
Picture
Picture


Subscribe to Newsletter
Home
  • Relationships​
  • Personal Growth​
  • Wellness
  • Emotions
Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Flourishing in Life
    • Addiction Recovery
    • Coronavirus 2020
    • Personal Development
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Emotion >
      • Emotional Fitness
    • Psychology Archive
  • Flourishing Relationships
  • Health and Fitness
  • About Us