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Home | Human Flourishing  | Personal Development | Ethics and Virtue Archive | People of Character

People of Character

Responding to Challenges with Character

BY: T. Franklin Murphy | October 2018 (edited 12-9-2021)
People of Character
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The challenges of life, when responded to with solution oriented action, create people with character, full of wisdom, compassion, and resilience.
The emotional wounds from changes, endings, unfairness, disloyalty, and disrupted plans create character, veering from the perfectness, and demanding more from the soul. We mustn’t hope for the smooth wrinkle free face of inexperienced youth; but the distinguished lines of wisdom. Hurt by itself is not enough. We gather wisdom from increasingly our sound choices after absorbing the lessons from the pain, avoiding the disasters of the past, and living a more productive life.
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We don’t gain character from an unchallenged life. The tugs and pressures of challenging environments provide lessons necessary to develop wisdom, empathy, and courage. The seasons of drought, although capable of destruction, also encourage the deepening of roots, extending to find necessary nourishment. If we stubbornly resist, blaming the environment for its failures—the lack of rain—we become victims, grumpy and indignant; self-righteously pointing our fingers in blame.
"The tugs and pressures of challenging environments provide lessons necessary to develop wisdom, empathy, and courage."
 People of character, the Nelson Mandela’s of the world, react differently. They feel anger for the slights and outright evilness of the world but instead of a retaliatory swing they transition, using their anger and grief to move forward towards lasting solutions.
 
“The soul of a person who has not undertaken an inner transformation is not free; being in thrall to anger is a normatively unstable and undesirable state…” (Nussbaum. 2016, loc. 5213)
 
To master life, we must transform to the experience, using self-reflection and patience, as we process the world and become wiser and more stable. This challenges most. We want to react, exhibit our displeasure, and retaliate. Sometimes an angry response is effective but most times it’s not, destroying relationships, and ruining future successes. We feel life, acknowledge emotions, but than regulate responses to achieve healthy and ethical goals.
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“A walk that began in misery could end in exultation.” (Brooks. 2016, loc. 1717)
 
The world of fuzzy-feel good philosophy promises too much comfort. We are besieged by the idea of an easy life. We are told our battle torn and wearied bodies are a product of an unhealthy life. This doctrine is very enticing, we are drawn to happiness and comfort, willing to give up long standing ethics for this elegant gift. These promises are a mirage, designed to capitalize on our senses but ignore the realities of an unpredictable, rigorous, and sometimes even tortuous world. It wasn’t a castle (or a luxurious tower on Fifth Avenue) that molded Nelson Mandela but a cell.
 
“When most people think about the future, they dream up ways they might live happier lives. But notice this phenomenon. When people remember the crucial events that formed them, they don’t usually talk about happiness. It is usually the ordeals that seem most significant. Most people shoot for happiness but feel formed through suffering.” (Brooks, 2016, loc. 1893)
We are not responsible for all the happenings in our lives. Unplanned and hurtful episodes intrude uninvited, and demand action. We can complain, avoid the difficult choices, and slither into victimhood; or we can step up and act. William James wrote, "There is no more contemptible type of human character than that of the nervous sentimentalist and dreamer, who spends his life in a weltering sea of sensibility and emotion, but who never does a concrete manly deed." (Bellah 2007, loc. 2371)
"Goodness is about character - integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people." Dennis Prager
People of character act, no matter what the difficulty, towards lasting solutions. Whatever happens, we are responsible for our response, taking the ingredients given by life and arranging them to create a better future.  We can be resilient, pursuing something a little better. We can be hurt and still love. We can fail and still succeed. We love, live and enjoy life, not because life is perfect, but because we are people of character, accepting the realities, fighting through the struggles and basking in the light of living.
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T. Franklin Murphy
T. Franklin Murphy
Wellness. Writer. Researcher.
​T. Franklin Murphy has a degree in psychology. He tirelessly researches scientific findings that contribute to wellness. In 2010, he began publishing his findings.

References:

Bellah, R. N., Madsen, R., Sullivan, W. M., Swidler, A., & Tipton, S. M. (2007). Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life. University of California Press. Kindle Books Edition

Brooks, D. (2016). The Road to Character. Random House Trade Paperbacks. Kindle Books Edition

Nussbaum, M. (2016) Anger and Forgiveness: Resentment, Generosity, Justice. Oxford University Press. Kindle Books Edition

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Wellness Links:
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External Link: Happiness and Authenticity (Part 1)--The Bound Spirit
External Link: How Nature Can Make You Kinder, Happier, and More Creative
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​Other Flourishing Life Society articles of interest on this topic:

A Flourishing Life Society link. Entitlement to Ease
FLS Link. The Experience Machine: In 1974, Robert Nozick posed a question. Would you plug into an experience machine that provided all the feelings of desired experience without the struggles of reality?
Wisdom to Know. The Serenity Prayer and Acceptance. A Flourishing Life Society article image link
FLS Link. Courage to Change.
As adults, we can create better surroundings to encourage our continued growth. Some do the opposite, surround themselves with others and influences that begin the process of decay.
A Flourishing Life Society link. Coping with Avoidance
Flourishing Life Society link. Self Respect
The Law of Consistency. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Picture Link: Venturing into the Unknown-- Carefully moving forward in a complex world.
FLS link. Posttraumatic Growth: Significant traumatizing events destroy our stable view of the world. From these ashes, growth is possible. We get back up, re-examine our world, adjust our expectations and move forward, a little wiser and stronger. We grow in response to the trauma.
Flourishing Life Society link. Adaptation Psychology. Effective Adapting to Life
Internal Link: Pursuit of Happiness | If the sole purpose of our existence is to increase pleasure, we will never be satisfied. Living a full and rich life experiences many emotions. Happiness is a balance of healthy thoughts and growth promoting actions.
Living a virtuous life is never accomplished in perfection; we integrate ethical standards one small step at a time.
Internal FLS link. Victim Consciousness: We learn patterns of engagement. Transactional Analysis defines many of these patterns, giving greater clarity to misguided human transactions. The perpetual victim often overlooks avenues of escape, relying on superficial support for strokes of attention. We can recognize these patterns and provide a more healing response.
Environments dictate the success and failure of life. We flourish when environments are accommodating. But humans can transcend this, achieving more than the world would otherwise dictate.

Flourishing Life Society Article Collections:

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Emotional Attunement article archive link
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Emotions article archive link
People of Character. Facing Life Challenges with Character. A Flourishing Life Society article image link
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