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Home  |  Flourishing in Life  | Psychology of Wellness  | Poisoning Emotions

Poisoning Emotions

BY: T. Franklin Murphy  | March 2018
Purpose effort
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Emotions are primary motivators for action. We should inspect misguided action for underlying emotional tics.
I feel good; so, I do it. I feel afraid; so, I refrain. The swirl of emotions direct behaviors, sending us chasing opportunities, and protecting against threats. But sometimes, strong emotions occasionally slip from healthy purpose and poison our lives. We shouldn’t embrace everything that feels right; Our systems can be overwhelmed with crazed fixations or the bitterness of hate. Some actions deserve abhorrence—such as child abuse; but too much hate strangles our hearts, destroys peace and retards growth. Hate is often a reaction to fear, grappling with the pain of a bruise ego. We fail to move forward, desiring revenge to achieve justice.
#emotions #behavior #psychology #flourishinglife 
Our feelings are programmed by experience, once set, they project meaning on mundane events, attributing a purpose where no purpose exists. A person we dislike (or hate) acts poorly, in line with normal human frailties, and we interpret their actions to evilness, performed with rancor and a desire to hurt. Our interpretations confirm our tainted judgments. The feeling further poisons perceptions. When we fear, we respond defensively—some pull back, some attack, and some quietly freeze. Our past and biology influences response and our responses continue to configure our futures.
Defensive or retaliating reactions deserve inspection, examining the powerful emotions driving action. Are we preserving our lives and characters or are we perpetuating an unhealthy cycle, supporting wrongful emotions with distorted judgements? Strong emotions are essential. Some circumstances deserve strong responsive reactions. We waste precious time with hurtful others; but don’t need to. Our emotions can guide us to safer environments.
 
We may never fully know the motivation behind a disturbing behavior. If a person repeatedly hurts us, emotions drive us to create secure mental space to protect from the emotional bashing. When circumstances change, but the emotions don't, the protective impulses need to be examined for appropriateness, whether the emotions create safety or limitations. Seeking outside help is often necessary to invite objective insights. We are too involved, blinded by biases, to see past the ego protecting fluff. We employ hurtful mechanisms—automatically and unconsciously. Awareness exposes emotions from past underlying hurt that need compassion, understanding and reprograming.

"We may never fully know the motivation behind a disturbing behavior."
Hating those who hurt us may be protective but often continues once the threat has ceased, wasting energy and poisoning our soul; we can protect ourselves from harm by maintaining distance without the burden of hate. Acknowledge the poison when you feel it. Mindfully work to widen views, making room for unknowable histories, and work towards compassion. We want compassionate for our foibles; and we should give compassion towards others. By freeing ourselves from the downward spiraling powers of hate, we create a deeper perspective and love for the world.
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We are pulled into harmful routines by emotion. We feel and then we react. Unfortunately, our reaction isn't always helpful. We need space to think and then act more appropriately.
FLS Link. The Motivational Influence of Anticipatory Joy: Episodic thought can propel us towards our dreams or fearfully tie us to our deplorable present. How and what we think matters.
Seizing the day is a joyful acceptance and a timeless honoring of the preciousness of life. Seizing the day creates a joyful connection to living.
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Link: Healthy living isn't all logic or all emotion but a smooth blend of both. The aliveness of feeling mixed with the preparedness of thought.
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We live amidst trillions of particles, moving, bumping, creating and dying. We are part of this magnificent show of life. We can't know all things, or reasons; but can know many things and reasons in our acceptance of complexity.
We move through stages of behavior, thought and emotion. Each phase impacting the others. We work to change by modifying any (and sometimes all) of the stages.

External Links:
External Link: The road beyond McMindfulness
External Link: Teen depression is rising fast
External Link: What Happened to My Mood When I Started Painting Once a Day
External Link: 10 ways to stay productive and motivated when depressed
Relationships, when healthy, provide a connection. We share emotions with respect and support. This vulnerability is the putty from which trust is shaped, formed and hardened.
We widen our vision by integrating the fate of circumstances with the empowerment of choice.
The rich experience of being human includes many emotions. When we can gently hold discomfort, along with the joys, our life flourishes. We recognize subtle pushes to grow.
External Wellness Links:
NPR link banner for anger
Link: Increace your social Intelligence by increasing your vocabulary
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Link Banner: How to ride the wave of your emotions
Emotions are primary motivators for action. Sometimes misguided action needs to be inspected for appropriateness.
Topics: Emotions, Anger, Emotional Intelligence


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