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Home  |  Flourishing in Life  | Human Growth  | Ashes of Destruction

 Ashes of Destruction

BY: T. Franklin Murphy | June 2015
When the bountiful universe fails, we are stuck with reality. But in reality, we find everything we need to grow from the ashes of the past.
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Bountiful Blessings Grow from Painful Losses
When the bountiful universe fails, we are stuck with reality. But in reality, we find everything we need to grow from the ashes of the past.
I want peace. I want happiness. Please, please tell me how. The happy life movement tears through the philosophies of the world. Survival has become a given; now we want to survive with a smile. No fears, we live in the age of capitalism; you want happiness, someone will gladly sell it to you. The billion-dollar-happiness industry has medicine men standing in line to sell you the magic potion that will cure your souls. Wellness programs flood Amazon, Barnes and Noble and the internet to save us from monotony, promising to catapult experience to new heights. Are we being played? Does this push of positivity exceed what human experience can provide? Perhaps, life does offer more. Something simple but beautiful.
#wellness #recovery #healing #addiction #flourishinglife
The positive-thinking movement, borrowing pieces from across the wide swath of history, emerged from the rubble and has taken hold. Modern contributors to positive thinking include Mary Baker Eddie teaching the healing power of the mind, authors such as Norman Vincent Peele (The power of Positive Thinking), and Napoleon Hill (Think and Grow Rich) followed with their best-selling books. The movement achieved prominence with scientific support from experimental psychologist Martin Seligman. The benefits of a glowing attitude can’t be simply dismissed. But not everything under the positive-thinking umbrella is proven fact. Many motivational thoughts, books, and programs lack substance. They give people what they want to hear (willing to pay for) but fail to acknowledge reality, ignoring facts and alienating followers of scientifically supported theories. These false prophets of positivity reject the bitter experiences of existence as the mere choices of weak minds.
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Positive-thinking consists of more than dream boards and motivational speakers—off-shoots of positive thinking. Positive-thinking feels good. We rather think of the pot of gold than the difficult journey. From an internal perspective, thinking wonderful thoughts and believing everything is wonderful is aesthetic, numbing the mind to some harsh realities.
 
Everything doesn’t work-out for our benefit. Sometimes we need to slow down for unplanned curves. With preparation, we mediate the future, avoid some nasties, and survive with more gusto than those tip-toeing through life in a blind bliss. Not everything that happens has a blessed reason; the child would fare better if the drunk-driver never prematurely robbed her of her mother. The limited income senior would enjoy more comfort with affordable health care. Life sometimes benefits one group while looting from another. Nevertheless, it feels good believing the universe magically fulfills our deepest desires.
With preparation, we mediate the future, avoid some nasties, and survive with more gusto than those tip-toeing through life in a blind bliss.
Many enterprising authors, motivational speakers and mega church preachers use positive-thinking to attract followers. The masses love deception. Fanciful thinking fills arenas, sells books (t-shirts, coffee mugs, etc..), motivates employees, and creates hope. But positive-thinking, the fanatical kind, ignores reality, by providing an escape from the fret of working through the snags and hitches of existence. In healthy doses (moderated by reality), positive-thinking motivates; but with too much, we chase unrealistic, unachievable dreams. A fundamental of dream fulfillment is that the desire must be realistic and achievable. To achieve, we must know the effective steps to take toward fulfillment. When positive-thinking interrupts the natural path to success, it’s off course.
 
When we believe success is guaranteed, we often take our foot off the accelerator; the unplanned obstacles, we conveniently ignored, then overwhelm and discourage. Notable changes to our lives require work, patience and skillful efforts—a positive attitude may help. The process of change stimulates discomforts—fears, vulnerabilities, shame. Change frightens us when we move from the well-worn paths, and act in new and difficult ways. The belief we must bask in positive feelings, at all costs, prompts rejection of opportunities to change that require significant work and pain.
Bad things happen—not just to those with negative thoughts. We suffer losses, failures, and eventually death no matter what our attitude is. We can be comforted by modern philosophy but while embracing acceptance, awareness, and the ‘power of now,’ we mustn’t ignore the tragedies of human existence; tragedy is integral to existence. Denial of reality doesn’t banish bad things—they still exist. We will experience despair; we occur losses in an impermanent, unpredictable world—the world we live in. But the strength of the human spirit expresses resiliency. Somehow, we face demanding and dire circumstances —not always gracefully—and emerge victorious. Through struggles, we discover remarkable recuperative powers. We don’t need to happily welcome unplanned disease, loss or failure but when challenged, we emerge victorious.
 
When we struggle, the demands distract our resolve, diverting our focus from intended purposes, but we strengthen character through resistance, creating a solid foundation. The occasional solemn thoughts of humanity do not need fixing. We may entertain a negative thought or experiencing discomfort during times of struggle; the discomfort reveals our humanity. The difficulty and the associated emotions provide nutrients for growth. Once the ashes of destruction settle, a flourishing life utilizes the ashes of sorrows for wisdom to better pursue intentions with purposeful action. Inner-struggles temporarily immobilize; that’s okay. Heal first, and then move forward. From the ashes of tragedy, the soil becomes rich. In due time, new seedlings break through the sorrow of tragedy, and grow with new purpose, hope, and wisdom.
 
Here in the normal, we find the great. While no amount of learning can save us from displeasure, we can work through the troubles, and arrive somewhere a little better. We can think positive thoughts, have an optimistic approach to life, but this doesn’t have to dismiss reality. Here in reality we find the real richness of living.
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FLS Link. Self-forgiveness: Genuine self-forgiveness is a process of accepting responsibility, working through the emotions, repairing damage, and recommitting to values.
FLS link. Self-Sabotage: We hurt ourselves. We sabotage healthy endeavors to escape the discomfort of change, settling back into our self-made prisons of stagnation.
We can experience a fullness of life, achieving our potential and enjoying the fruits of living right. Picture containing this text.
FLS Link. Patronizing Toleration:  Toleration is better than discrimination. However, toleration suggests refraining from acting on objectionable differences. We can do better.
Banner link: Punishing Imperfection-  Critical self-judgments create an unfriendly environment for growth. Under harsh conditions the self-begins to conceal reality to protect the soul.
We quietly endure a life we despise; but then fail to make meaningful change.
We need a clear picture of where we are before we can begin the journey forward.
Positive thinking on steroids morphing into magical distorted thinking.
When all has crumbled and the world looks bleak, it is time to change and create a new life.

Outside Articles:
External Link: Listen, Open Up, Connect: A Mental Health Expert's Advice On Living Through A Crisis
External Link: Addiction leaves little room for anything
External Link: Make Peace with Your Unlived Life
External Link: Turning Failure Into Purpose
FLS Link: Change is a four-letter word. We are threatened by the need to adapt; but successful maneuvering through the complex demands of an ever-moving world requires a flexing and adaptable approach. We must change, sacrificing some of our specialness for a happier and better existence.
FLS internal Link-- Growth Through Recovery: Recovery is a process of growth. There are four domains of growth that we should concentrate on to catapult us back into the game of life.
Internal Link: Pursuit of Happiness | If the sole purpose of our existence is to increase pleasure, we will never be satisfied. Living a full and rich life experiences many emotions. Happiness is a balance of healthy thoughts and growth promoting actions.
Our plans are disrupted. Circumstances interfere with our intentions. Life will always intrude, demanding adjustments and reconciliations.
Persistent shaming thoughts disrupt our lives, integrated into our psyche from difficult past, we must function despite their menacing interference. We can be kinder.
We are either growing or decaying. We don't remain idle.
Wellness on the Web
External Link: The Dark Side of Resilience
External Link: Coping: Dealing with Life’s Inevitable Disappointments in a Healthy Way
External Link: Could meditation boost cognitive function?
External Link:  Pain is a Choice we are Addicted To
When the bountiful universe fails, we are stuck with reality. But in reality, we find everything we need to grow from the ashes of the past.
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