Flourishing Life Society
  • Flourishing Life Society
    • Flourishing Favorites
    • Articles by Year Published
    • Privacy Policy
    • About Us
  • Psychology Definitions
  • Psychology of Wellness
    • Psychology of Emotions >
      • Emotional Data Base
    • Psychology Article Archive
  • Personal Development
    • Health and Fitness
    • Personal Development >
      • Personal Development Archive N-Z
  • Flourishing Relationships
Home  | Flourishing in Life  | Human Growth | Elements for Growth
BY: T. Franklin Murphy  | May 2018 (edited December 15, 2021)
A woman warmly embracing her sleeping child. A Flourishing Life Society article on safe environments and personal growth
Adobe Stock Images
We don't spontaneously grow. We need the necessary ingredients. Our souls need to be fed and protected.
In many ways, we are not that much different from other living thing. Growth in all living things occurs when essential nutritional needs are met. Some nutrients come from the environment unfiltered but need internal processing to change the compounds into more usable substances. No matter how much we desire to grow physically, mentally and spiritually, our growth is limited by the nutrients available and our ability to process those nutrients into usable chunks. We must have a place of safety to sharpen our abilities to partake of surrounding nutrients.

Our task is twofold. We must find environments that nourish and be able to utilize that nourishment for growth. As adults, we still need a caring and compassionate place where we can find refuge to bolster strength, gather reassurance and relish in security.

​Unlike children, though, we are more empowered. We can create or find the environments that we desperately need. In a place of safety, we discover the courage for deeper personal explorations and subsequent confrontations with personal demons. Without a base of safety, the unknown world is much too dark and threatening for growth promoting investigation.

Hurtful Criticism

Harsh criticism is painful. When a partner or parent constantly criticizes, the victim focuses on avoiding the hurtful judgments. Curiosity for life is stymied; the creative and natural responses to the world are curtailed and the person becomes protective.

​An impoverished childhood full of hurts and neglect skews a child’s social growth. It handicaps the child’s ability to accurately respond to social cues. The childhood traumas often lead to unhealthy adult relationships which further repel growth. It is a perpetuating and destructive cycle. Those stuck in these heart-breaking cycles implement more and more complex mechanisms that take them further and further from reality.
"The fact is that people are good, Give people affection and security, and they will give affection and be secure in their feelings and their behavior."
​Abraham Maslow

​To acknowledge personal deficits that overwhelm the resources we have available to adequately address them is frightening. We avoid such damning information, fail to grow, and continue in our limited life.
 
Having a safe place to retreat gives a sense of security. The respite recharges our resolve, providing additional resources to face the world. The safe place allows us to step into the dark corners of our humanity and bring hidden elements into the light. It’s a courageous journey into our souls but with a safe retreat that affirms our worth and bolsters self-confidence, we are willing to risk the unknown and adventurously move forward.
"The safe place allows us to step into the dark corners of our humanity and bring hidden elements into the light."

Safety and Growth

A safe place consists of supportive, compassionate others and a supportive compassionate self. Slowly, with growth, we allow our self to be human, without constant berating for normal imperfections. When we are gentle, we discover imperfections without protective avoidance. We aren’t impelled to bury unsavory aspects of the through justifications or blame.

​Each new enlightenment illuminates deeper into the corners of our mind. We’ve embarked on an exciting process of self-discovery—a journey. Not a journey of days, weeks, or even years but a journey continuing throughout the remainder of our lives. The joy doesn’t come from an imaginary destination of perfection but from the comfort of entering a new cycle of growth. The safety zone—compassionate acceptance of self—slowly expands, along with an improved self also comes improved relationships.  Each step inviting more beauty and more growth.  
Please support Flourishing Life Society with a social media share or by visiting a link:
Twitter Reddit LinkedIn Email
T. Franklin Murphy
T. Franklin Murphy
Wellness. Writer. Researcher.
​T. Franklin Murphy has a degree in psychology. He tirelessly researches scientific findings that contribute to wellness. In 2010, he began publishing his findings.

Index:

Flourishing in Life
  • Personal Development
  • Mindfulness
  • Addiction Recovery
  • Wellness 
Psychology of Wellness
  • Emotions​
  • Personality
  • Defense Mechanisms
Flourishing Relationships
  • Intimate
  • Parent/Child
  • Society
Health and Fitness
Research
About Flourishing Life
External Links:
Picture
External Link. Flow can help you achieve your goals
Link: Do this When You're Overwhelmed.
7 ways to turn your life around when everything falls apart.
Link Banner: Accepting what we cannot change
External Link. Your Successful Morning Routine Actually Begins the Night Before
External Link: Your Addiction to Outrage is Ruining Your Life

​Other Flourishing Life Society articles of interest on this topic:

We, like the acorn, have great potential. We, unlike the acorn, are empowered beyond our environments. We can create environments that gives more of the nutrients and protection that we need.
A Flourishing Life Society article link. Fear of Change
Five Life Changing Wellness Discoveries. A Flourishing Life Society article link
FLS link. Neuroplasticity and Learning. The Brain and new habits
Living Consciously. A Flourishing Life Society article
A Flourishing Life Society article link to Invitations to Change
FLS Link: Hope Theory: Motivation to Succeed. Hope is more than an optimistic reliance on unseen forces. Hope, according to Hope Theory, is a combination of three elements: realistic goals, energetic determination, and intelligent pursuit.
Basic Needs. A Flourishing Life Society article image link
Flourishing Life Society Link. Self-care or Selfish Care: We need to care for ourselves. We have limited strength to interact with others and the world. We must be cautious to not use self-care as an excuse to abandon the world. With rejuvenated strength, we can engage and attune to others.
Living a Rich Meaningful Life. A Flourishing Life Society article link
Picture Link: Venturing into the Unknown-- Carefully moving forward in a complex world.
Flourishing Life Society article link. Building Resilience
We conserve resources by planning a path that supports our change. Continual challenges erode our strength and lead to failure.
Building Blocks of Choice. A Flourishing Life Society article image link
Flourishing Life Society article link. Ask the Universe
Small emotions, poking through from the past, can avalanche into full blown hatred. We must catch the mislabeling of experience, make corrections and work towards building a relationship with love an intimacy.

Flourishing Life Society Article Collections:

2021 article archive link
Mindfulness article archive link
health and Fitness article archive link
Psychology article archive link
Meaning article archive link
Abuse article archive link
We don't spontaneously grow. We need the necessary ingredients. Our souls need to be fed and protected.
Flourishing Life Society
  • Human Flourishing
  • Psychology of Wellness
  • Flourishing Relationships
  • Psychology Definitions​
  • Privacy Policy
​Other Links
  • About US
  • Companion Site​
  • Most Popular Articles
  • Psychology Topics A-z
Articles:
  • New Articles​
  • Last year's Publications​
  • External Psychology Links​
​Favorite Topics:
  • Mental Illness Archive
  • Personality Archive
  • Personal Development
  • Psychology of Emotions
News Letter

    New Article Updates

Subscribe to Newsletter