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Home  |  Flourishing in Life  | Relationships | The Unknown Story

The Unknown Story

BY: T. Franklin  Murphy |May 2018
Knowing the reasons an event occurs allows for better predicting (and preparing) for the future. Knowledge gives security. We often bi-step the knowledge, assume a cause and enjoy a false security.
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The Glorious Knowledge of the Unknown
Knowing the reasons that an event occurs allows us better predict (and prepare) for the future. Knowledge gives security. We often bi-step the knowledge, assume a cause and enjoy a false security.
There is a story behind everything—the picture on a wall, a scar on a knee, or an uncomfortable feeling. Sometimes the story is simple; other times complex—the picture from that fantastic weekend getaway, the scar from a childhood game; the emotion from complex unknown experiences. We march through life just catching glimpses of the truth. Most experiences are laden with unknowns hidden too deep for us to discover. We can’t avoid this reality. We must still act and move towards our goals.
#acceptance #purpose #psychology #flourishinglife
Our minds are magicians, just as the brain fills in holes from the natural blind spots in eye sight, creating an unimpaired visual representation of the world, our mind also creates a coherent story from the broken pieces of perceived reality. We believe we know the reasons for Susie being mean, and for our boss’s smile; but often these contrived meanings miss the mark, ignorant to many of the facts motivating the action. We look at the design on the cover of the novel and ignorantly tell the story we believe to be on the interior pages.
Knowing the reasons behind an action has a great utility for managing life. When we know the reasons, we can act with more confidence. When we know the cause, we can affect the outcome. The unknown story has great value to create security. Unfortunately, life holds secrets. People, tragedy and even good fortune often spring forth from complexity. We can identify bits of the causes, singling out associations, but the exact equation leading to the moment remains unknown. Instead of walking in faith, with curiosity of what will befall us, we seek security through self-created stories of meaning.
 
Humans have engaged in story telling since the beginning of consciousness. Organizing causes to explain the unknowns. Traditions, superstitions, cultural biases, and religions explain the unexplainable. We do it on a grand scale with millions of people and on a very personal scale labeling a partner for their failures. While assigning meaning typically occurs behind the closed screens of consciousness, we can expose errors, and redirect our thoughts to more functional explanations that include elements of the unknown. 
Unfortunately, life holds secrets. People, tragedy and even good fortune often spring forth from complexity. We can identify bits of the causes, singling out associations, but the exact equation leading to the moment remains unknown.
Healthy unbiased living requires confronting these automatic judgments, considering the presence of many unknown stories behind the observed behavior. This is discomforting, leaving us without a clear explanation for a slight or insult. As we mature, we understand that the untold story often includes suffering. Kindness is often the best response.
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FLS Link. Fredrickson's Broaden and Build: Positive emotions promote growth by encouraging approach and observation.
FLS Link. Patronizing Toleration:  Toleration is better than discrimination. However, toleration suggests refraining from acting on objectionable differences. We can do better.
FLS link. Namaste: The Hindu origins of the word namaste sparks concerns about state-religion separation. The underlying meaning, however, is unifying.
We live amidst trillions of particles, moving, bumping, creating and dying. We are part of this magnificent show of life. We can't know all things, or reasons; but can know many things and reasons in our acceptance of complexity.
Picture
Avoidance relieves stress in the moment; but habitual running carries a high price, impacting futures, and limiting growth.
Life is difficult enough without the need of a harsh inner critic. Try being kind-- to yourself.
We widen our vision by integrating the fate of circumstances with the empowerment of choice.

External Links:
External Link: Meditating on Suffering
External Link: Where Does Your Mind Wander--And Does It Matter?
External Link: Stop Running Away From Yourself
Accurate appraisals are difficult in a complex world. Others have much more to them than the simplicity we see.
Life is not a pretty little bundle of joys. We have pleasures and sorrows.
External Links:
Link: I'm Neurotic; You're Neurotic
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Knowing the reasons an event occurs allows for better predicting (and preparing) for the future. Knowledge gives security. We often bi-step the knowledge, assume a cause and enjoy a false security.
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