Why is This so Difficult
BY: Troy Murphy | September 2018
Trying to feel better is a formidable challenge for many. The well-being industry has many theories. Success requires finding proven paths and patiently working towards a better life.
“How can I feel better?” we ask. We naturally want to feel good. Emotions of sadness, despair, and shame don’t feel good. When we experience unpleasantness, we want to escape. There’s no shortage of advice on how to accomplish this. We live in information overload. The internet is a blessing and hazard. Anyone can speak with authority; credentials optional. Sorting through the massive piles information, with both the credible and the ridiculous mashed together, is our challenge. While we work to discover more, maybe we should implement something simple. Be patient, be kind, and be forgiving. Life is complex, success alluding. We’ll get there but not immediately.
Many skills notably improve our lives; but we must artfully identify proven remedies while refraining from the fluff. We must sort through advice, identifying foolishness--the tales told by idiots, “full of sound and fury. Signifying nothing,” and work on implementing proven remedies built on soundness.
"Many skills notably improve our lives; but we must artfully identify proven remedies while refraining from the fluff. "
Here’s my advice, throwing my thoughts on the obnoxious heap of well-being directives. When we constantly ask, "How can I feel better?" our thoughts gravitate to what is wrong. What’s wrong becomes the focus. Naturally, we must identify errors in behavior to address; but too much focus on what’s wrong, ignoring what’s right, bothers the soul. Life always feels wrong if that is our focus. Improvement requires some tension, noticing error and working towards change. However, too many thoughts about what’s wrong disrupts. In our efforts to improve, we digress. We feel bad when all we see are the blotches.
Instead of harsh judgments for failings, we can accept some foibles. Humans feel pain, disappointment, guilt, sorrow and anger. The feelings are part of our human heritage. We work towards improvement, not because we are defective, but because we evolve. We encourage healthy growth with constructive behaviors. The “what is wrong with me” thoughts discredit the sanctity of life, dampening aliveness, and discouraging internal motivations to change. We depress our souls, curl in the corner and endure the ruthless shocks of life.
Stop the insanity; be kind to yourself (self-acceptance); be less judgmental. Practice patience. Engage in proven methods that promote growth. Find outlets for creative expression (healthy escapes). Practice compassion. Express forgiveness. Enjoy healthy relationships. As we address key areas that contribute to successful living, our feelings improve. By focusing on constructively doing, life naturally falls into place.
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